A Love that Transcends Time
by sasymon
Summary: Hook died so the dark one would be gone. Emma can't live in a world without Hook in it and finds a way to go back in time to before the darkness comes out of Gold. What do you do if you're the Savior and you know your future? The future where you lose the man you love. Takes place during season 4 after Emma returns to Storybrooke. All magic comes with a price, will she pay up?
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter 1: _****_  
Emma's Point of view:  
_**  
Suddenly they are back in Storybrooke. Everyone is here that was just with me in the Enchanted Forest.  
I hug Henry, "you did it, kid!"

He hugs me back tightly, "yeah I guess I did." He says, sounding surprised as the smile grows on his face.

I smile back. I'm so proud of Henry. Wait, Killian isn't here. Suddenly remembering that Killian died in the alternate reality. "Hook!" I say out loud. I let go of Henry and starts to run towards my parents apartment leaving Henry with the others.

I have to know that he is alive. If Henry really did undo the authors bad stories then maybe he is alive. I need to tell him how I really feel. That I love him.

I reach the apartment building and dash up the stairs. Standing outside the door, I grab the knob. I freeze when I feel a wave of power hit me. I gasp as everything goes black and then suddenly my vision comes back.

I see Killian standing in front of me. I'm in the park by the pond. I'm holding the dark one's dagger, but its longer. A sword?

I'm struggling to hold it steady. It's so heavy and I can feel power radiating from it. Killian is standing, waiting for me to do something. The words fall out of my lips "I love you." pulling him in and kiss him. It feels like a good bye kiss? He says "I love you, too." With sadness in his tone.

I stand back and look at him. He looks so heart broken but has a reassuring look in his eyes. Killian says, "it's okay." Trying to sound convincing.

I pause for a second and look at him. I see the man I love more than anything in this world, standing there with so much pain in his eyes. With a swift thrust of the sword I stab him.

Coming back to reality... Still standing in front of my parents door to their apartment. What the hell was that? It felt so real but I don't remember that happening. I would never kill anyone, especially Killian.

Trying to compose myself for just a moment more and then I turn the knob, walking into her parents apartment. Everything looks the same. She sees her parents embracing each other. Not surprising, as she is the product of their true love.

"Where is he? Where's Hook?", Emma asks.

Her father looks to his left, "He was there, right before we got dragged away." Pointing at the papers and the once upon a time story book on the floor.

Emma walks in, "Everyone reappeared where they once were before this whole mess started." Emma pauses for a moment "no..."

Maybe because Killian died he couldn't be brought back? I'll never get to tell him I loved him now. Sadness starts to overwhelm her as tears start to well up in her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry about the mess, I really needed to find that book. I'm usually a bit tidy-er" Killian says, as he is looking down from the upstairs loft.

I look up and see Killian. I smile and go up the stairs and jump into his arms, "Killian!" I hug him and jump with such force that I end up pushing him into the bed.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed as he lands on the bed with me on top of him.

I laugh, so glad he's alive. I don't care that my parents are just downstairs. I sit up, still straddling him, holding his hand in my own, staring into his blue eyes.

In that moment, I felt whole again. I couldn't imagine a world without him. After watching him die right in front of her, I felt so empty. Seeing him now, I know I need to say those three words to him. The words I have been scared to say out loud because then it would be real. No walls, no armor, just Emma, unprotected.

Hook looks up at me with a smile and says, "How many times do I have to tell you, love? I'm a survivor."

I continue to stare at him. Still trying to catch my breath. The relief just starting to set in that he's really okay.

Killian continues to explain, "I didn't mean to cause a panic. I woke moments before your parents. I came up here looking for your boy."

Still not willing to get off him, for fear he will disappear, I finally reply. "He's fine. Henry is fine. I'm just glad you are too." Saying that last sentence just a little bit quieter than I meant to.

I pause, not taking my eyes off him. I can feel the armor and walls going back up as I start to lose my courage.

Killian starts to look concerned, and asks "What is it?"

I sit up, letting go of his hand but still straddling him. Killian sits up too, keeping eye contact with me. I can feel the pain all over again when I try to think of how to explain my feelings for him.

"When I, watched you die, I was afraid I wasn't going to have the chance to tell you something."I say. I pause recalling the vision I had in the hallway. I told him I loved him in that vision. He said he loved her too before she killed him.

Killian continues to quiz her, "Tell me what?"

I look into Killian's eyes. He raised one of his eye brows, like he always does when he's asking her something or flirting with her. I suddenly lose all my courage. Walls up and armor equipped again.

I reply, "That I..." Pausing for a second, "...want to thank you for sacrificing yourself."

I can see the disappointment in his eyes as soon as the words came out. I instantly regret the words but there was no going back. I'm a bad liar but Killian doesn't seem to notice.

"Henry and I wouldn't have succeeded without you" I continue, now being completely truthful.

Killian replies "Of course, love. It's all in a day's work for a hero."

Killian is a hero now, I think to myself. This means we can get our happy ending.

I lean in placing my forehead onto his and smiles. I put my hand on his cheek and lean in to kiss him, when suddenly I sees another vision.

I'm running up the road towards my parents. I recognize it to be Main street in Storybrooke. The intersection by the library. Killian is running up with her.

"Where is it?" I ask as I reach my parents.

"We don't know" David says, with concern.

"It just disappeared into the night." Mary Margaret states.

I look to my right and see Regina walking up with Robin.

Regina looks at me and asks, "What's going on?"

Killian replies before I can get the words out. "The dark one is no longer tethered to the crocodile."

I look all around but I can't see the darkness. It's late at night now. The clock at the top of the library says it is 10:15. She can feel it surrounding them. "It hasn't gone anywhere. Darkness... It's surrounding us."

Suddenly like me saying that out loud was the invitation it needed. The darkness that came out of Gold comes out and surrounds Regina. I can hear Robin, "Regina!" he yells.

I hesitate, "I..." Looking down at my hand... Not sure what to do.

"What's it doing?" Robin asks me.

I think for a second but it looks pretty clear now. "What darkness does? Snuffing out the light"

"Well I'm not going to let it!" Robin dashes to Regina and tries to reach for her but the darkness surrounding her pushes him away.

"That's not going to work on this thing." I yell. "The apprentice told me. We have to do what the sorcerer did. We have to tether it to a person to contain it."

I start to run towards Regina while holding the dark one's dagger.

Mary Margaret yells "Emma!"

Regina yells "No! There has to be another way"

I stop and look at her. I just got back. I don't want to do this but someone has to. "There isn't." I say with tears forming in my eyes. "You've worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed" I yell to Regina.

David yells "No!"

I look back at my family and Killian. "You figured out how to get the darkness out of me once. You need to do it again, as heroes." I look back at Regina.

Killian runs up to me, "Emma! Emma, please! No!" He grabs my arm, "Don't do this!"

I look at Killian. I want to listen to him but I have to do this for everyone. If I can't have my happy ending, at least I know they will now that all the curses are broken. Looking at Killian the words spill out. "I love you!" Once I say those three words, I realize I'm never going to see him again. I put my forehead against Killian's closing my eyes for just a moment, then I push him back before he can stop me and then turning around I hold the dagger in the darkness, taking it all into myself and then I see nothing.

I start to panic, still staring right at Killian. I try to say something but then I start convulsing, losing control of my arms and legs. I can hear Killian's voice, yelling my name but I can't reply. I try to open my eyes but they won't open. All I can see is darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:  
Killian POV:

Holding Emma in his arms leaning in to kiss her, she starts shaking. He tries to hold her steady. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and her eyes close.

I scream, "Emma! Emma!"

He can tell she's trying to say something but no words are coming out.

Still holding her, the shaking stops just as quickly as it started. I lay her on the bed. I start to shake her, as she remains lifeless on the bed. "Emma!" I yell again

At this point David and Mary Margaret come up the stairs in a panic.

Mary Margaret asks, "What happened?" She rushes to Emma's side checking for a pulse.

I reply, "We were sitting on the bed talking and she started shaking."

Mary Margaret, always calm and collected starts to cry, in between sobs, she says, "David, call an ambulance! She barely has a pulse."

I start to walk back and forth trying to relive that moment they just shared. He can't understand why it happened. All he can think about is he can't lose her. The women that he loves, more than he ever thought was possible.

Mary Margaret brings him back from his thoughts when she asks, "will you help me carry her down the stairs?"

He looks down at her and without hesitation he replies "Aye!" And he scoops her up in his arms. She feels so light as her carries her down the stairs. Did she lose weight and he didn't notice? She's always out there saving everyone and bringing back happy endings she probably never has time to eat. He makes a mental note to bring up later, hoping that Emma is going to make it.

He walks down the stairs following Mary Margaret. She walks over to Neil, Emma's little brother and picks him up from his crib. David looks over at me and says, " The ambulance is on its way. We should go outside to meet them."

I nod in agreement and David opens the apartment door, holding it open for me. I walk out with Emma still cradled in my arms. Holding her so close that he can feel her heart beat.

"Hang in there Emma. Help is on the way, love." I say out loud hoping she hears him.

David and Mary Margaret follow close behind him. They all hear the ambulance sirens heading in their direction. I step out into the street and it pulls up next to the curb.

Two people jump out of the vehicle and head towards the back. They open the back doors and quickly pull out a stretcher. I lay Emma on the stretcher, remembering the time when he was rushed to the hospital in one of these vehicles.

The EMT starts checking Emma over and strapping her onto the stretcher. The other guy starts asking David what happened. What is taking these guys so long? He thinks to himself. Seconds turn into minutes as he stands there. Starting to feel overwhelm I flip my captain switch on.

"Why in the hell are we just bloody standing here? We need to take Emma to a doctor." I yell at no one in particular but just trying to get his point across that we are wasting precious time.

Mary Margaret pulls me to the side while still holding Neil in her arms, "Calm down, Hook. They may not be doctors but they are doing the best they can for Emma. Just let them do their job" As Mary Margaret is speaking they start to put Emma in the ambulance and David follows his daughter in the back.

"I'll meet you both at the hospital", David says before the door is closed.

Mary Margaret jumps into David's truck. "Get in!", Mary Margaret yells. I quickly open the passenger door and jump in. She hands me the baby. I must have made a face because she instantly replies, "I can't hold him and drive at the same time."

I nod and she starts the truck.

I look down at the boy, who clearly has no idea what's going on. Truth be told, I think to himself, I don't have a clue either. I am just hoping Emma will be alright.

It doesn't take long to get to the hospital but it feels like hours when we pull in but only minutes had gone by. Mary Margaret parks the truck. As we walk up we see the empty ambulance and David standing outside waiting for us.

"They aren't really saying much but she's breathing better." David says as they continue to walk into the building.

David walks down the hall and turns right into a small room. It has a couple chairs in the corner and a small bed, where I see her. They have machines hooked up to her. Hearing the sound, I remember the annoying machine with the beeping from the time Emma brought me here after I was hit by a car. Things were so different back then. Revenge was all I ever wanted but now all I want is for her to be safe.

I walk over to the side of the bed and hold her hand in mine. She looks so fragile.

I hear a door open, and turn to see what looks to be a doctor wearing a long white coat. He picks up a chart and starts writing on it. "I'm doctor Audian, the on call doctor. Based on what I've heard, Emma just went through quite the ordeal." He looks up from his chart at the machine by Emma's bed, then looks back down and writes something on it.

"Is she going to be okay?" David asks as he puts his arm around Mary Margaret.

"We did an MRI scan and from what I can see, Emma has some abnormalities in her brain." He points to the wires hooked up to Emma's forehead, "And hopefully these will tell us what is going on."

"So you don't know what's wrong with her?" I ask.

The doctor looks up from his chart and shrugs. "Based on what you've told me and what I see, Emma had a seizure. Most seizures are caused by medications or a head injury. The first step is finding the likely cause before we can treat it."

"Emma doesn't take any medication that we know of. Maybe she hit her head back when we were in the Enchanted Forest?" Mary Margaret asks.

Suddenly Emma's hand starts to tighten around mine. "Emma?" I ask, as I see her lids start to flutter.

Her eyes open. She looks scared. Before I can say anything the doctor says, "Stay calm, Emma. You're in the hospital. You had a seizure."

She crinkles her eyebrows like she does when she is thinking hard about something. She looks up at me and then at her parents. I'm still holding her hand and I give it a little squeeze. "You gave us quite the scare, love."

Emma looks at me now, she asks, "I had a seizure?" She looks up at David and Mary Margaret and then around the room.

I nod, "Aye, love, that's what the doctor told us."

She let's go of my hand and feels around her forehead where the wires are and goes to pull them off. The doctor immediately says "Don't do that!" Emma looks up at him. "We are monitoring your brain activity. You're not out of the woods yet, miss swan. We want to keep you here for a few more hours just to see if we find a pattern. Do you remember anything happening that may have triggered this?"

Emma looks at me, and I raise an eyebrow at her. I can tell from the way she's looking at me that she must think I had something to do with it. "I know I'm absolutely dashing and devilishly handsome but we established this long ago, Swan. You're looking at me like I'm the cause of your pain. You know I would never hurt you." I make a joke out loud but all joking aside he really hopes he didn't cause it, he thought to himself.

Emma looks down at her hands and replies, "It wasn't you Killian. I know you would never hurt me." Why didn't she look at me when she said that? What are you hiding from me, Swan?

The doctor quizzes again, "Could it be stress?"

Emma looks up at the doctor then and replies a little to quickly for my liking. "You know, that must be it. The stress of trying to bring back everyone's happy endings and undoing all the things the author changed. I haven't had a moment to myself."

Mary Margaret replies, "You haven't taken a day off in months Emma. Maybe you just need a vacation?"

Then David chimes in, "Hook and I can take over at the sheriff's station. It won't be so busy now that all the villains have left town." He walks over and puts a hand on Emma's shoulder. "You can take a break from being the savior for a little while."

Emma gives David a small smile and nods in reply.

I stand there, shocked. Not one argument from her. Is this really his Emma? I try to compose myself, hoping no one notices. Some times I'm a bit of an open book.

David looks over at me now, "Isn't that right, Hook?" He asks.

I nod in agreement. Of course I would do anything to help Emma recover from this. I'm just not sure she's being entirely truthful with us.

The doctor seems trilled with the solution. "That sounds like a great idea, David. I will leave you all alone while I do my rounds but I'll be back in a bit to review your chart again. If everything looks good, you'll be free to go."

Mary Margaret smiles at the doctor, "Thank you, doctor!"

Once the doctor leaves Mary Margaret pulls up a chair next to Emma's bed with Neil still in her arms. David continues to stand next to the bed, but grabs Emma's hand. The hand I was holding moments ago.

I walk backwards towards the door. "I'll leave you royals here to catch up."

I can see the disappointment in her eyes as the words come out but she smiles back at me and nods. "Thanks Killian. Please let Henry know I'm fine?"

I reply "Aye, love, I'll let your boy know." I turn around and walk out into the hall. I close the door and walk outside through the automatic doors. I know Emma is hiding something and I intend to find out what it is and the first step is to find Henry.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:  
Emma POV:

I watched as Killian waved good bye. Once he walks out the door, I close my eyes and think about what just happened. I had said thanks but I really wanted to say 'don't go.' I should have told them the truth. I open my eyes and look at my parents and little brother. They are trying to entertain Neil at the moment.

What is the truth though? I had a seizure? That can't be it. I remember seeing visions but what does it all mean? Am I going to become the dark one? Do I kill the man I love because the darkness overpowers me? Am I just going crazy?

Mary Margaret notices I'm in deep thought and asks, "Emma, what's wrong?"

I look at her and lie, "Nothing."

She smiles at me, and I can already tell I'm not going to like what comes next. "I know that face. You love Hook don't you?" Okay I didn't see that coming, Emma thinks to herself.

I can already feel my cheeks turning red and as if it couldn't get worse, David looks over his shoulder. "You're in love with the pirate?" He raises his voice. Over protective dad is an understatement. I am twenty nine years old and still he seems to think no one is good enough for me.

Mary Margaret snaps back at David, "Our daughter has been seeing him for a while now. That ship has long since sailed and there is a pirate on it. Get over it."

I can't believe the words coming out of my mother's mouth. I am speechless and a little surprised that she actually seems okay with it.

She lays her hand on mine and says "Open your heart to love, Emma. It's so worth the risk."

I smile at my mom. I do love Killian but every man I've ever been with is dead. I can't bare to lose anyone else. Whatever that was earlier, whether it was a hallucination or just a bad dream, I need to forget about it. I'm starting to make things up in my mind to convince myself that I can't be happy with him. I want to be happy and I am.

Tears start to fall down my cheeks as I confess, "Mom, I do love him but I'm scared. The last time I opened my heart to someone I was left completely heart broken and alone."

She squeezes my hand, "But if you don't put your heart out there, you may miss out on something so magical. Not everyone is going to leave you."

David walks over from the window in my room, now standing next to my bed, and says "As much as I hate the idea of you being with a pirate, I know he cares for you. But if he ever hurts you, I'm gonna kill him!"

"Dad, no one is killing anyone." I say but I can tell it was a false promise. "Don't mention anything to Killian about this, please?" Already regretting confessing my feelings.

My mom crosses her heart and imitates zipping her lips with her finger but my dad gives me his over protective dad look. The look of uncertainty and annoyance.

"I'm twenty nine years old. I'm not a little girl anymore. I can make my own choices." I say a little harsher than I intended.

David raises his hands in surrender. "Okay, fine. All I want is for you to be happy!" He kisses me on the forehead. Suddenly His phone rings breaking our conversation.

He answers it, "Hello? What? I'll be right there!" He hangs up and looks at me and my mom. "I have to go. Leroy and Tom are fighting outside Granny's right now. Apparently Tom sneezed in Leroy's coffee and he lost it." He kisses my mom on the cheek and rushes out the door.

A few hours go by. I dozed off shortly after my dad left but was woken up by the doctor coming in. He looked at the machine and made some notes on my chart. "Well Emma, everything looks good. I don't see anything that shows signs this will happen again." He looks at me now, "You can go home, but on one condition. You have to rest. Take at least a week off from being the savior. I don't want to see you back here for a while."

I nod, "I don't plan to come back here either." I smile at him. "Thank you"

He unhooks the wires from my forehead. I sit up and glare at my mom. It takes a moment for her to realize I want some privacy. I can tell when the light comes on because she says "oh, I'll be right outside with your brother." And walks out with the doctor.

Now that I'm alone, I slip out of the bed and grab my clothes. It doesn't take long but once I put my red leather jacket on I feel a little better. The doctor is right, I just need some time off.

I open the door and walk out into the hall. My mom is talking to Regina. She sees me walk out and waves me over.

I walk down the hall to meet them. Regina gives me a hug "Glad you're okay, Emma. Captain guy-liner told me you were in the hospital, so I came right down but apparently you recover fast."

"Thanks Regina. Wheres Henry?" I ask, kinda surprised he isn't here to visit me. Usually he's with me or Regina but I don't see him anywhere.

"He is with Hook. I asked him if he wanted to come and see you but he didn't want to." Regina made a surprised look much like I imagine my face looked.

What could they be up to. "Well I guess we could go to Granny's then? I'm pretty hungry and could really go for a grilled cheese and some onion rings."

My mom immediately protests "Oh no you don't! David went there to deal with a problem. I'm not letting you slip back into work."

I roll my eyes at her. "Honestly mom. That had long since left my mind."

"Lets just go home, okay?" She says, "I'll make you a grilled cheese and we can just relax at home."

I open mouth to protest but I can tell she's made up her mind. We still haven't talked about what happened in the authors messed up reality. She was quite the villain in that story. And my dad killed Killian.

Regrettably, I nod. Going home isn't exactly what I want to do but I really should. Taking a week off should give me time to look for my own place. I don't mind living with my parents but I know they want their privacy and I can't exactly give that to them when we have such thin walls. And I wouldn't mind some alone time once in a while.

I follow my mom and Regina outside. Regina gets in her car and we get in. I forgot David took his truck when he left. She gave us a lift back to the apartment.

I walked up the stairs behind my mother and waited for her to open the door. I remember that feeling I got when I touched the door knob and instantly got a chill again. I am going crazy.

We walk in and she puts Neil in his playpen and he starts playing with his toys. I pick up the once upon a time book and sit on the bar stool. I start flipping through the pages and find the one of Killian and I dancing at the ball back when we accidentally went back in time. I touch the page and suddenly get a glimpse of something. Another vision.

I am looking at the same page. I'm crying as tears fall on the book. I hear someone talking to me, it's Gold, "There is a way to alter Hook's destiny but it comes with the steepest of prices." I look up from the book.

"I will pay it. I can't bare to lose one more person I love." I say in between sobs.

Gold puts his hand up telling me to hold on, "Don't you want to know what that price is?"

I shook my head but start to cry more. "If it means I can bring back the man I love I will do whatever it takes."

Gold seems surprised but he still warns me, "You can get past this Emma but if we do this you won't recover. Someone close to you will die. With a spell like this it will alter Hook's fate but there must be a balance. A life for a life."

I look up at him, "Can I choose who dies?"

He smiles at me, "My my Emma, the darkone may have left you but you still have some darkness there."

"GOLD?!" I yell

He pauses for a moment, "Yes, we can choose the who's life will be exchanged for his with the right ingredients."

I look down at the page, "Tell me what I have to do."

Mary Margaret brings me back from that vision when she asks, "Do you want anything on your grilled cheese?"

I reply, "No, thank you!" I start feeling sick and continue, "Actually mom, I'm not really hungry anymore. I think I'm going to go lay down."

"Oh, okay honey." My mom replies.

I smile at her and walk up stairs to my bed. I remove my leather jacket and fall back onto the bed.

That was my third vision and it's starting to make the other visions make more sense to me. Are these visions of my future? I kill Killian because I become the darkone? After I kill him I am not the darkone anymore and I regret what I did?

I know me, and that wasn't me. I would never kill him and I would never pay such a price. If this is my future I need to change it but how? I can't succumb to the darkness.

I close my eyes. Hopefully tomorrow I can get a grip on these visions. If this really is my future I'm going to change it.

With that last thought Emma slowly drifts to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:  
Killian POV:

As he walks out of the hospital, the sun is shining without a cloud in the sky. It doesn't take him long to get to Granny's, the usual hangout spot.

When he walks in, he expects Henry to be seated in his regular spot and he wasn't disappointed. He's there with the hero's and villains book in front of him.

"Henry!" I walk up to him.

He looks up at me, "Hook, you're alive?!" He jumps out of the booth and gives me a hug.

"Woah! Yeah, my boy I'm fine." I hug him back but continue, "But your mother isn't."

Still hugging me he looks up, "What do you mean? What happened?" He asks, now letting me go.

"The doctor says she suffers from stress or something brought on by stress. I don't know the exact particulars but she's recovering at the hospital now." I try to explain.

"I better go then." Henry grabs the book and I grab him with my hook before he gets far.

"Wait!" I pull him back, "Before we go see your mother I have a few questions."

"Can't the questions wait until after I see my mom?" He asks seeming annoid.

"The questions pertain to your mother." I explain. "Common." I lead him out of the diner towards the docks. We don't get very far before we cross paths with Regina and Robin.

"Where do you think you're going with my son?" She asks.

I roll my eyes at her, "We are on a mission to help Emma. She's not well and is in the hospital."

"What happened?" She asks

"I'm not sure but she's recovering at the hospital." I slip past next to Henry "now if you'll excuse us, we will be on our way."

I start to walk a little faster, Henry walking next to me but clearly feeling my urgency and keeps up the pace. We make it to my ship and I lead Henry down to my cabin.

"You were with Emma after I died. Do you recall anything happening to her? Was she injured?" I ask

"No, we freed her from that tower and you helped us escape. She talked Regina into stopping Robin's wedding." He paused "Wait! She did fight my grandfather, Gold, and he pushed her into a cart. Maybe she hit her head?" Henry said.

I recalled the doctor mentioning one of the causes could be truma to the head. That may be it, but she admitted stress and never mentioned being hurt.

"Nothing else?" I ask just to get reassurance.

"No." He replies. "Is that why you brought me back to your ship? Cause I could have answered these questions at Granny's and already be at the hospital."

I point my finger at a paper on my table. "That is actually why I brought you here."

He picks up the paper, "A house?" He asks.

"Do you think your mom would like a place like that?" I ask.

Henry's eyes light up, "Are you going to ask my mom to move in with you?"

I laugh, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, now. I've been looking around for places for me but I haven't a clue. The ship has been my home for hundreds of years but I know your mother wants her own place eventually and I figure if I find one suitable she may want to share that home with me." I continue, "I don't want to rush her but I would love it if you'd take a look at this place with me. You know more than I, what her ideal home would be." I smile at him.

Henry looks down at the paper again, then back at me, "Sure."

"The lets go!" I motion to go. The house is on the other side of town so when we get back to the street I call for a cab. It pulls up to us and we both get into the back seat.

"Where to?" The driver asks

"To 715 West 10th street, please." I explain.

Henry sighs "I hope my mom will be okay."

"She will be." I put my hand on his shoulder to reassure him "She has never failed. She can overcome anything." And I truly believe that she can.

Henry smiles, "Yeah that's true. She's pretty amazing."

"Aye, lad, that she is." I smile back at him.

Within five minutes the cab pulls up to the curb and we see it. The house is one of the biggest he has ever seen. I pay the cab driver and get out of the car. Henry steps out on the other side and walks up to me as I'm standing there in anew.

"This is the house?" Henry asks.

"That's what the paper says." Still a little surprised, I open the gate and walk up the steps and look through the windows. It's empty but he can already imagine a life here with her. A happy one.

"Hello there." A woman walks up the steps and surprises me.

"You must be Marcy?" I ask.

"I am. You must be Mr. Jones?" She asks.

"That I am." I admit. "And this lad is Henry." I motion towards the boy with me.

"Nice to meet you both. Are you ready to look at your future home?" She asks with confidence.

Who's ever going to be ready for that? I think to myself. "Sure." I reply anyway. I look over and Henry and raise an eyebrow. "Ready, lad?" and he nods.

The realtor explains each area to us as we walk through the house. I only half understand some of it. Back in the world I came from we didn't have anything like this. My home has always been my ship and I will always treasure it, but I'm willing to take this leap with her. I can't ask her to live on my ship. My cabin is small and I can't imagine having a family living there.

Looking at this place now, I can picture two kids running up the stairs laughing, Emma in the kitchen telling them to stop running. Henry sitting in the living room playing with his video device. I can see a future here, with her. I smile to myself.

Bringing me back from my thoughts Marcy asks, "So what do you think?"

"Uh," I pause, a little speechless. "Henry?" I look to him for the answer while trying to come back from my dreams.

Henry smiles, "This place is great, Hook. My mom will love it."

"Really?" I ask. I look around again at the empty rooms.

"I know she will." Henry reassures him.

Marcy interrupts "So we can we expect a down payment?" She asks

I was expecting that and came prepared. I pull out a check book. I've been working for the Sheriff's department part-time for over a year. I have absolutely no bills to speak of and have been saving since I started. Emma had helped me open up a bank account and I haven't touched it once.

"How much do I need to put down?" I ask.

"$6000" She states. "Made out to Bank of America"

I write it out and hand the check to her.

"Is the house ours now?" Henry asks.

"Well we still have some paperwork to sort out and the check has to clear but yes. Congratulations." She smiles at both of us and leaves us standing in the hallway.

I smile at Henry "We have a home!" He looks up at me and I open my arms and we embrace each other laughing with joy. A place of our own, where we can call it home. Emma will never be alone ever again. This will ensure it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:  
Emma POV:

It's been days since I was let out of the hospital and I've been trapped in my parents apartment for what feels like weeks but it's only been three days.

I wake up and crawl out of my bed. I look at my clock and its 10:00 am already. I must have over slept. I start to walk down the steps. I see Killian sitting at the table and he waves to me.

"Good morning sleeping beauty!" He laughs as I walk down.

"All women need beauty sleep, in order to retain a youthful glow, but remember, Aurora is sleeping beauty as far as fairy tales go. Isn't that right, Emma?" Mary Margaret explains.

I roll my eyes and raise my hands in surrender, "I never claimed to be a beautiful sleeper." I plop down at the table facing Killian but on the opposite end of the table.

David asks " Who's ready for some pancakes?" With way more enthusiasm than necessary. Placing a large stack on the table.

I can tell Killian sees my distaste and before I can say anything he replies, "You're not really going to make her eat that rubbish are you? I think princess Emma deserves a pirates breakfast of grapefruit and boiled mackerel." He winks at her. He gets up, picking up the plate with the large stack of pancakes and goes to toss them in the trash. "There will be no scurvy here today."

In the nick of time Mary Margaret grabs the plate from Killian, stopping him from tossing them in the trash. "What do you think you're doing? Pancakes are a perfectly fine breakfast."

Still sitting at the table, I say "I'm not hungry." They all look at me now.

David is the first to speak, "I'll make you anything for you."

Killian walks over to me, grabbing my hand, "Whatever your heart desires, Swan."

I smile at him but then look down at our interlaced hands. I want to be honest with him. Its so hard keeping these visions from my family. The stress has been making me feel sick to my stomach that my appetite is suffering.

"I want to go out and do something fun. I've been trapped in this apartment for days and I'm starting to think I need a break from my family and not so much the work." I reply in disdain. I feel bad instantly after the words come out.

Killian releases my hand and walks over the window in my parents bedroom. My mom and dad look at me with disappointment.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just.." I pause "I just feel like you're smothering me a bit." I admit

Mary Margaret walks over to me, and lays her hand over mine. "I know sweetie. We have been a bit over protective since we got home. Can you blame us? We don't want to lose you."

I smile at her, "You won't"

Killian walks back over, "Tell you what, I'll take Emma out. We can have a spa day. I can tell she could really use it." as he gestures to all of me. "She's clearly letting herself go."

"Hey!" I glare at him now. I look at the mirror behind me. You have to admit he's not wrong. My hair is all over the place and I'm in my sweats, which I was also wearing yesterday.

He smiles at me, "I saw an advertisement in that box over there," He points to the TV, "that spa days are important."

I look at him, completely dumbfounded. "Do you even know anything about a spa?" I ask

"What's to know? It's supposed to be relaxing. Sounds like something we can both do, together." He smiles.

Mary Margaret and David start to laugh in hysterics

"What?" Killian asks, "why are you laughing? I was being genuine."

I smile at him, "I would love to go." I stand up and give him a kiss on the cheek.

Mary Margaret pulls Emma over and whispers, "I can't really picture Hook at a spa."

I shrug, "Whatever we do, I promise I'll be careful. If I start to feel stressed I'll come right home. Promise!"

She hugs me, "Okay honey. Have a great time."

David whispers something to Killian. He makes a face. David must have told him what a spa is. I giggle.

"Okay Killian, I'm going to go get changed." I start to slip by him but he grabs my hand. I stop and look at him.

"No need, love. We don't have a whole lot of time." He says. "You looked great, just the way you are!"

"But you just said I let myself go?!" I exclaim in confusion.

"Let's go." He starts to drag me out the door.

"Wait, let me get my shoes at least." I slip out of his grip and grab my shoes. "Bye mom! Bye dad!" I wave to them.

"Make sure you bring her home by 9:00. A minute later and I'll be out for your other hand, Hook!" David threatens.

I close the door, rolling my eyes and quickly slipping on my boots. Killian stands waiting. I walk up and he holds his hand out for me. I smile and take it. Once we walk outside I instantly feel better.

"How does the fresh air feel, Swan?" Killian asks.

"So amazing." I take a deep breath. "So, now that you've freed me from my parents, what is the plan?" I ask, suddenly curious. I know he was joking about a spa day.

He smirks at me, and raises an eyebrow. "I already told you what we were doing. Weren't you listening, Swan?"

I pause for a minute, I stop smiling, "I thought it was a joke, a fib to get my parents to let me leave. I don't want to go to a spa."

He completely ignores me and opens the passenger side of my car. "Come on, get in." He points to the passengers side.

"You can't drive and I can't drive either. Remember? The doctor told me I can't encase I have more of those," I shake my hand in the air to explain my seizures "This!"

"You won't be driving today, Swan. I'll be driving." He continues to hold the door open for me.

I cross my arms and tilt my head, still confused. "You don't know how to drive." I state

"Oh, I do. And I can drive circles around you to prove it." He smiles at me. "Now get in. We are wasting time. You don't want me to come over there and make you." He threatens.

Still not believing him, I stand there. He takes his hand off the door and I realize he is completely serious. "Okay! Okay! I'm getting in." I walk over to the door and look right at him. "Don't wreck my car."

"Worry not, Swan. Driving a car is a lot like sailing a ship. You just have to trust your gut. The vessel will do the rest." He states.

Oh my god, I'm going to die.

He jumps into the drivers seat and puts the key into the ignition and turns the car on. He adjusts the rear view mirror. So far so good. He puts it in gear and puts his foot on the gas. We jerk forward and he skids away from the apartment building. I grab onto the door handle with one hand and put my hand on the emergency break. So far this is not my idea of relaxing. I close my eyes tight.

He starts to slow down and he seems to notice I'm holding on for dear life. "Relax, Swan. You're perfectly safe with me." He tries to reassure me.

"Just keep your eyes on the road! Please!" Still having my eyes firmly closed.

I start to feel the shift as the car slows and comes to multiple stops. I open my eyes and see we are now pulling into a parking lot. "Where are we?" I ask, still not sure.

"A market of sorts. I believe people call it a mall." He says, sounding a little unsure, "Not really sure why."

I've never actually been to the mall here in Storybrooke. I know there isn't a spa in there but I'm impressed that Killian found this place. He pulls into a parking spot, puts the car in park and turns it off.

"Are you okay?" He asks

I look over at him and I smile, "Yeah." I'm a little surprised but he really did great.

"See, Swan. You just have to trust me. Things will be a lot easier if you do." He smiles back at me.

We both get out of the car and walk over to the entrance. Killian opens the door, "After you."

The mall is actually quite big inside. I can see now, walking in that it's three stories. It looks like the food court is downstairs and the shops are on this floor and the upper floor.

I look to Killian. This was his plan, but he looks lost. Clearly not in his element, but still making an effort. I know he's only here for me. How did I ever get so lucky? Sure, he's a little old fashioned and way too old for me. But moments like this remind me just how perfect he is for me.

"Swan, let's go in there!" I look towards where he is pointing. Forever 21? Really?

"Why? You want to relive your inner teenager?" I ask.

"Humor me, Swan!" He takes my hand leading me into the store.

We are walking through the clothes when Killian spots something and he stops. He pulls out a black leather bra and matching shorts that look closer to underwear. He raises an eyebrow and smirks.

"No way!" I laugh, "You're crazy to think I would ever wear that!"

"Well a pirate can always dream." He says, pausing as something else seems to catch his eye, "what about this?" He pulls out a light blue floral dress with spaghetti straps with a high to low cut.

I look at the price tag and see it's $100. "It's nice but way too expensive." I put it back on the rack.

"Why don't you just try it on?" He asks. He looks over at the clerk standing by the register. "It doesn't cost anything to try on this garment, does it?"

Behind Killian I nod my head trying to convince the clerk to say it does. The clerk doesn't seem to understand me or chooses to ignore me. "Of course it's free. Come this way to the changing room."

Really? I look at Killian and he seems pretty pleased with himself.

"Go on, Swan. Try it on!" He says

I begrudgingly walk to the back of the store where the changing rooms are with the dress in my hand. It takes me a few minutes to change. I look in the mirror in my room. It looks really nice but I really can't afford it.

I hear Killian behind the door. "Does it fit?" He asks.

"It does." I sigh.

"Well come on then. Let me see!" He asks

I open the door. He stands there, looking completely stunned. "That looks amazing on you." He complements me. I know I'm blushing now. "Well, shall we go to the next shop?" He asks.

"Let me change out of this dress first." I say

Killian smiles, "No need. I knew that dress would look stunning on you so I already paid for it."

"That's way too much money, Killian!" I exclaim,

"Nonsense! It's my gift to you! You deserve it! And it looks far better on you than on that rack. Now stop wasting time. Let's go!" He gestured towards the exit.

"You're impossibly stubborn." I remark,

Killian laughs, "It's one of my many qualities, and I know you love me for it." He winks at me.

"So what now?" I ask as we are back in the center of the mall completely ignoring the comment he just made.

He puts his hand on his chin and looks around, clearly thinking about it. "Let's go up there." He gestures to the upper floor. "But how in the bloody hell do you get up there?!"

There is an elevator to the left of us. I point at it, "We can take the elevator."

"Oh, well then, let's set sail!" As he walks up to it and pauses. "Why isn't the door opening?" As he tries to pull the doors apart.

"Because." I push the button next to the door. "You have to push that." And it opens.

"Where are the steps?" He asks as he walks in.

I push the button to go to the third floor and it moves. I was not prepared or expecting the reaction but within seconds as the elevator starts to move he grabs me in a terrifyingly strong embrace. "What the bloody hell?! Is this box magical?"

I pat him on the back. "Nope, it's just an elevator. Kind of like a bucket of water being pulled up from a well and lowered back down for more."

The door opens and dings. "Wow."

I laugh. It's a sign I really should take him out more. "See anywhere you'd like to go?"

He looks around and seems to spot something. He takes my hand again and smiles at me. "How about a make over?!" He raises an eyebrow. I don't even get to reply, "come on!" He walks over to a hair salon.

The clerk at the desk asks, "How can I help you?"

"Two hair cuts please! One for me and one for my beautiful lady" Killian says.

Oh my god, I think to myself.

The clerk says "Right this way." She seats us side by side and two hair stylist come over and start to style and trim our hair. We're there about two hours. The girl does a really nice braid in my hair like a head band, with most of my hair flowing behind it. Killian got a beard trim and a small cut. After they are done, I look at us side by side in the mirror by the entrance. We look like a couple of movie stars. I link my arm in his and smile.

"Thank you, Killian." And I tip toe up and kiss his cheek. Now looking in the mirror again, I lay my head on his shoulder. "This really was a good idea."

He smiles at me, "I'm glad you're having a good time."

We walk around the mall for a little while when I see a photo booth. I remember taking photos when I was a kid in one like that. I steer us towards it. It costs $3 per strip of photos. I put a $6 into the machine. "Let's capture this moment forever!" As I walk into the booth and close the curtain behind us.

"What are we doing?" Killian asks

"Taking some photographs. Make sure you smile and look over here." As I point to the red dot in front of us.

We both look at it the first time, but as the photos continue to be captured, Killian takes this moment to capture my lips. As we are kissing he picks me up in the moment, kissing me more aggressively, but lifting me too high that I hit my head on the ceiling of the booth. "Ow!" He drops me back down immediately.

"Emma! I'm sorry!" He puts his hand on my head, "I didn't mean to do that! Are you alright?!" Clearly concerned.

I laugh, "It was more of a surprise than anything. I'm fine, really." I look up and smile.

Killian still looks worried, "you're sure? It sounded pretty loud when you made contact." Clearly not believing me.

"I'm stronger than I look." I reassure him. "I'm the savior after all!" I stand up, "I think someone else may want a turn."

"Anyone who dares to kiss my woman will walk the plank!" He says with complete conviction.

I laugh and kiss him again once more. "I meant the booth!" I walk out and see two strips of 5 photos printed.

There is one where we are both looking at the camera smiling, one of Killian looking at me while I'm completely oblivious still looking at the camera, one of us both looking at each other, one of us kissing and the last one that is officially my favorite, Killian is trying to pick me up mid photo and mid kiss when he hits my head on the ceiling and I'm making a face and he's still oblivious.

I laugh out loud, still looking down at the photos the words just slip out, "I love you so much, Killian!"

It takes me a moment to realize I said those three words that I was so scared to say out loud. As soon as I realized it was said I wouldn't look up at Killian. I kept looking down at the photos.

"Emma." I hear him but I won't look up. I'm too scared. I don't want things to change between us. I close my eyes and my left hand starts to shake. I see another vision.

I'm sitting on a log looking at the dagger with my name on it and a little red ball in a golden box. I hear someone coming and I look up.

"There you are." Its Killian, walking towards me. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"The daggers right here. Regina was going to use it on me, why not you?" I ask, clearly upset.

"What she did was wrong. I'm sorry it happened." He says standing by the log looking down at me

"I'm not. She's right, I do know why I'm scared to let go of the darkness." I look down, not wanting to meet his eyes, "Because of her I finally admitted it to myself."

"What are you so afraid of, love?" Killian moves down to sit next to me on the log.

"This." I hand him a piece of paper with a house circled on it. "Our future."

He sighs as he realizes what it is. "I see you've talked to Henry. Sometimes I forget that boys can't keep secrets." He tosses the paper down on the ground.

"Don't blame him. He thought it would help if I knew what I had to look forward to when we got home."

"What are you trying to tell me then? That you can't ignite the Promethean flame because you're afraid to take the plunge and move in with me?"

"It's not about moving in, its.." I pause, "everything!"

He looks away from me smiling, but not a happy smile.

"When I told you I loved you back in Storybrooke it was because I thought I was never going to see you again." He turns to look at me again, the smile gone. "It was the same way with Neil. I could only admit my true feelings when I thought I was losing him and you."

He looks down now, with a grim look on his face. "Well I guess it's even worse than I thought. You can't even see any future at all with me." Now looking forward.

I grab his arm, "That's not it, don't you get it." He looks at me now, and I look right back at him, "I'm afraid because I do want a future with you."

He raises an eyebrow at me, "You do?"

"Yes and the minute you take away the darkness that future begins. I know it sounds crazy." I say.

"That doesn't sound crazy at all, Emma. It sounds like music to this pirates ears. You just have to trust me, the future is nothing to be afraid of." And then he leans in and kisses me with such passion and love. He pulls away but I want more. He's looking down, "See?" And he looks back at me.

I look down and see that the Promethean flame is lit. I smile and look back at him. We can go home!

The vision ends, bringing me back to this moment. Killian grabs my shaking hand. "Emma, are you alright?"

I finally look up at him, "Yes. I'm sorry." I say.

"For what?" He looks at me confused, still holding my hand.

The shaking in my hand is now stopped. I pause. "I am the savior. I'm supposed to be strong and protect everyone from the bad guys but I'm always so scared when it comes to admitting how I feel."

Killian kisses me on the forehead and puts his arm around me. "There is nothing to be afraid of, Emma. I will always protect you." He pauses, "and I love you too!" He smiles at me.

"You heard that, huh?" I half smile, hiding my face close to his chest.

"I may have missed it. Can you repeat that?" He pulls my chin up so I have to look at him. He has the biggest smile on his face. In the moment, I've never been so happy.

I laugh, "You're such a pirate!"

"Aye, that I am. But I'm your pirate." He smiles.

"That you are." I reach up and kiss him. When I pull away, looking up at him, seeing his big smile, "I love you!"

He picks me up into his arms again and twirling me around, still in the mall. I start laughing. "Put me down! People are starting to stare at us." He laughs but listens and lowers me back down.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you. I guess my armor has been on for such a long time, that I forget I don't need it with you" I say

He grabs a hold of my hand, and pulls it up to his lips and kisses it. "Your heart will always be safe with me." He gives me a reassuring smile.

I smile back at him. Suddenly my stomach starts to make grumbling sounds interrupting our moment.

He laughs, "Well your stomach is not afraid to admit what it wants." He smiles and nods towards the exit. "Shall we go get a bite to eat?"

"That would be great!" I say. I let the words sink in, "I'll always protect you." But what if it's you that needs protecting?! These visions are starting to happen a lot more often and they don't seem to be happening in any particular order. That newspaper I saw in my vision was a listing of a house, a house Henry and Killian picked out for us to live together in.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Emma POV:

We leave the mall. This time I keep my eyes open as we go. Its starting to get dark out now. He drives back towards town and we stop at a restaurant called The anchor. Its near the shore which is likely why they picked the name. When we walk in, I notice right away they have a live band performing, singing modern covers of popular songs. There are red candles lit at every table and string lights all around the walls and across the ceiling.

The hostess greets us and sits us at a table next to a window overlooking the ocean and hands us each a menu. It's mostly seafood but they have a few other choices.

"What are you going to order, love?" Killian asks

"I think I'm going to try the eggplant Parmesan. What about you?" I ask

"I think I'll have the grilled haddock." He replies

"A good choice, for a pirate." I joke and smile at him

He reaches for my hand over the table. "I may be a pirate but I enjoy more than just seafood and sailing." He says as he looks at me and smiles, the crooked smile I love.

I smile back at him and I can feel my cheeks turning red. Before I can reply, our food arrives and we start to eat.

"Emma!" Killian says

I look up and he's holding his fork over the table towards me, "Try this! It tastes amazing."

I accept the bite of food and he's right. "Wow, that is good and I don't normally like fish."

"You really should eat more. I can tell you've lost weight. I know you're a busy lass but you have to remember to take the time to eat. I'll cook for you some time, once I get my own place." Killian says

Killian really does notice all the little things. He's always worried about me and so caring. Wait, he just said once he gets his own place he would cook for me.

"You're looking for a place?" I ask

He looks up from his plate, "Well I've been looking around. Somewhere with a view of the ocean. A home big enough for a family. A place to build a future in." He smiles "Hopefully with you, when you're ready to take the plunge with me."

"Killian, I am not sure what my future is." I start to look away, not knowing what to say. I want a future with him, more than anything but if these visions I'm having a true, we won't get our happy ending.

"The future is uncertain, Emma, but there is one thing I want you to be certain of! I will always be by your side!

The live band starts to sing a slow song, and Killian gets up. He holds out his hand "would you like to dance?" He asks

I reach out and accept his invitation, and we dance to a cover of Give Me Love, by Ed Sheeran.

Dancing here with him, in this small place, for a moment all my worries, all the people around fell away and it was just the two of us. I want this to last forever. The song ends and we stand still holding each other's gaze and then we pull apart.

"Shall I take you home now, swan?" He asks

"Yeah, it's getting late." I look out towards the ocean through the window.

We leave the restaurant and the drive home is quiet. It only takes a few minutes to pull up to my parents apartment. He walks me up to the door.

"I had a really great time today. Thank you for the dress." I say as I look down at the dress and then back up at him.

"It was my pleasure, Swan." He says,

I reach my arms around his neck and find his lips. The kiss was not like the others. I felt a fire burning my lips, an electric feeling. He pulled his lips away from mine leaving them feeling cold, but he starts to trace kisses down my jaw line and down my neck. I moan without meaning to. He pulls away as I put a hand over my mouth hoping no one heard that.

"I really need to get my own place." I say, instantly regretting that I can't drag him inside to continue this.

"We will get one, one day." He says as he smiles and places one more kiss on my lips. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight" I say and I open the door to my parents place and close it. I lean on the door and I put my hand on mouth, remembering the feeling of his lips on mine.

"So, how was your day?" Mary Margaret asks bring me back from my love spell.

I turn and see my mom is still up and Regina is over.

"It was the most wonderful day, I can remember ever having." I reply.

"I love your new dress!" Mary Margaret complements, I look down at it forgetting that I hadn't left the apartment with it on.

"Killian got it for me." I smile at my mom and Regina. "What are you two up to?" I ask

"We are having a girls night in. Did you want to join us for a drink?" Regina offers.

"Sure, just let me have a quick shower and change." I dash up to my room and grab some PJs and slip back down into the bathroom.

I turn the shower on and wash the day away. The warm water on my skin is so relaxing. Suddenly my hand starts to shake again. I try to steady it with my other hand but it's not working. I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I try to steady myself again, hopeful it will pass but then I see a glimpse of something.

Another vision. I'm in gold's shop talking about a plan to go back in time. I remember this vision.

"Did you get the stuff?" He asks me

"I did!" I hand him a ribbon and I lock of blonde hair.

"These both belong to the person that you want sacrificed for this magic?" He asks

"Yes!" I reply with confidence

"Leave the rest to me, Emma." He assures me, "it will be done."

"Thank you Gold." I nod at him and turn away.

"Is he worth it?" He asks.

I turn to face him again, "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a little while. In the end when you're in love, no matter what happens, it's always worth it."

The vision ends and I collapse on the floor trying to open the door and it swings open. Regina and my mom rush over to my side.

"Emma!" They both yell my name.

My mom pulls my head into her lap. I look up at them trying to steady my hands and pull myself up.

Regina puts her hand on my chest, "Don't. Take it easy, Emma."

"She must have just had another seizure." Mary Margaret says to Regina.

The shaking stops after a few minutes and sit up. All three of us are sitting on the floor now. I look up at both of them. Tears falling down my cheeks. I have to tell them.

"They aren't seizures. Well at least not entirely." I continue with their attention. "These tremors or shakes, they are followed by visions. Visions I think are of my future."

Mary Margaret is the first to speak, "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"At the time I didn't think they were anything but a figment of my imagination but then they started to happen more and more." I start to admit.

"I only know of the one and now this. How many of these have you had?" She asks, with concern.

I look at her, not willing to admit it. "I think I've had five now, but its not something I really am trying to keep track of."

"Emma, you should have told us. You can't do this all on your own. Does Hook know?" She asks.

"No!" I reply really quickly "Please don't tell him."

"Emma you can't keep secrets from the ones you love." She says

"I will tell him, when I'm ready." Not sure when I will be though.

Regina finally says something, "What are these visions about?" She asks.

I don't want to tell them. I sit there trying to think of what to say. That last vision I had with Gold, I gave him two possessions that belonged to the person now fated to die in place of Killian. Those items I handed him, were mine.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
Emma POV:

I'm now fully clothed and sitting at the table with my mom and Regina.

"So when did these visions start happening?" Regina asks.

I look down trying to recall when. "I think they started right after we got back from the Enchanted Forest.

"So when you had your first seizure?" Mary Margaret asks.

"No, it was before that, as I was walking up to the apartment." I admit. "Like I said, they come in waves. Most of them are quick and I don't really feel anything except a little shaking."

"Do you think this is magic related?" Mary Margaret asks Regina.

Regina doesn't even flinch, "Oh it definitely is. It could be because she is the savior. But more importantly, what are you seeing with these visions?"

"I never remember them after they happen." I lie. "Maybe I should book an appointment with Archie. He may be able to help me with controlling them and trying to remember."

"I think that is a great idea, Emma." Mary Margaret says. "It may even help you open up and bring those walls down."

I nod, knowing I do put those walls up, but its to help protect me from having my heart broken. I look over at Regina and I can tell she's not buying it but she doesn't say anything.

"I finally told Killian I loved him." I admit.

"What?! What did he say?" Mary Margaret asks

"He said he loves me too and that he will always protect me." I smile and I can feel my cheeks turn red.

She's smiling, clearly happy for me. "Emma, I'm glad you found someone special to share your life with."

And the sick feeling returns. "Well I had a long day. I'm going to hit the sack. I'll go see Archie in the morning. Goodnight!" I turn and walk up to my loft and crash on the bed.

I can still hear them talking downstairs quietly but I can't make out what they are saying. I drift off to sleep not long after I close my eyes.

I wake up the next morning not long after 11:00 am. Wow I really needed that. I feel well rested even though I can see my sheets are ripped off my bed. I must have been having nightmares but I don't recall what they were about.

I walk downstairs. No one is here. I see a note from my mom. It says;

Don't forget to go see Archie today. Call me if you need anything. Love mom

Well now that I'm alone I can think of what I should do about these visions. I sit at the table with a note pad and start taking notes. Last nights vision is clearest in my mind right now. I gave Gold my possessions which means, that this time travel spell to change Killian's future is going to cost me my life. Which means we can't have a future together.

Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. No matter how the future plays out, we will never be together. I rip the paper of notes off the note pad and crumple it up in my pocket.

I walk out of the apartment down the street to Granny's Dinner. I could really use a grilled cheese. I get there and order. While I'm waiting for it to be made, Bell comes running into the Dinner.

"Bell, whats wrong?" I ask

She's trying to catch her breath as she explains, "Rumple. His heart. He says its almost gone." She pauses "He says we're in danger!"

"I'll call the apprentice. I'll meet you at the shop." I say, I know whats coming. Its the darkness. My visions are starting to come true.

I rush over to Gold's Shop and find Bell and the apprentice already there, hovering over Gold's still body.

"What are you going to do?" I ask.

The apprentice looks up at me and back down at Gold. "We are going to pull the darkness out of him and contain it."

I see the hat on the floor next to him now.

Bell asks " Does that mean that his heart will be healed?"

"Perhaps. If the strength is there." He pauses and puts his hand on Gold's chest. "This is more power than the hat has ever been asked to contain."

"Do what you need to do." I say, knowing this isn't going to work.

He starts to chant "Purest evil, blackest bloom, darkness, too, can find its doom." And with those words he pulls out Gold's heart. Its blacker than I've ever seen a heart get. He activates the hat. "Never dying but contained, bound inside the falcon's chamber, shorn of anger, thornless danger, there forever to remain!." With those last words the darkness is sucked into the hat.

I notice the dagger change and the name was removed. Gold's heart is now completely white and clear as he puts it back in his body. He still remains unchanged, lying on the floor.

Bell checks his pulse "He's barely breathing!"

"Rumpelstiltskin was the dark one for centuries. His return to the man he used to be will not be easy." The apprentice replies. He runs his hand over his body. "This spell will preserve him until we discern if we can help him."

"Lets put him on the cot out back, Bell." I suggest.

"Okay." She agrees.

We both pick him up and lay him on the bed. Its 3:00 pm now. If I remember correctly the darkness will only be contained in the hat until 10:00 pm. That doesn't give me a whole lot of time to plan or find a way to stop it.

"Are you going to be okay, Bell?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'll be alright. I hope he can recover from this." Concern in her voice.

"I have a feeling he will." I pat her on the back and smile. "He's stronger than he gives himself credit for."

I leave the shop and start walking towards the station. I want to find Killian and say goodbye. I'm not sure what to do but I want to see him one last time. I'm fated to die now and I'm not going to let my life go to waste. I'll make sure he can move on and that I won't be around to kill him this time. When I become the dark one I don't know if I'll still be me.

I see the station in the distance across the street. I stand on the other side of the road. I can see him in the stations with my dad but I don't want to go in. I'm not even sure I'm ready. What will I say to him.

I hear a loud thunder clap above me and then the rain comes down heavy. I'm only standing there a few moments and I'm already soaked.

I see Killian coming out of the sheriff's station across the street. He looks up and sees me standing there. He runs across the road to me. I guess its now or never. I have to keep it together or this is never going to work.

"Emma, what are you doing out here in the rain? You'll catch a cold." He grabs my arm and tries to drag me towards the nearest shelter. I pull my arm out of his grasp.

"It's over Killian." I say coldly. "We can't be together. This was never going to work between us." I move my hands between us to explain my words.

He turns to face me, water dripping down his face, "Why are you saying this now? I thought you had an amazing time, as I did, yesterday." He says in a whisper, now looking down at his feet.

"I did. It was the best date I've ever had." I say, being completely honest.

Now looking right at me again he asks "Then why? You even told me you loved me. Was that a lie? I thought we were going to build a future together" Killian starts to raise his voice, clearly starting to get frustrated with her.

I pause for a moment, still standing in the rain. This is so much harder than I ever thought. Nothing could prepare me for this moment.

I look down averting my eyes from his, "I thought I loved you," I lie, "but we are just too different. You're a pirate and I'm a princess. I'm sorry, Killian. I really am. It's just not meant to be. We were fooling ourselves, thinking this would ever work. Our world's are just too different"

Killian pulls my chin up so I have to look directly at him. I can feel his breath on my face and the warmth of his touch "I know you're lying to me, Swan." He can see right through me, can't he? "You know you can tell me anything. What's really wrong?" He asks.

Still holding my chin up I reply, "We can't have a future together. I thought that's what I wanted but the more I think about it the more I dread it." I know he knows I'm telling the truth now. I saw that future and I never want it to come true. He drops my chin with that reply.

I walk backwards a few steps and turn and start to walk away, tears starting to fall down my cheeks. For once, I'm glad for the rain, because it's hiding my tears and drowning out my sobs.

"Swan!" Killian says behind me. I turn to face him, hoping the rain really is hiding my tears.

"Did you ever love me? Not Captain Hook the pirate, but just me, Killian Jones?" He asks, with so much sadness in his tone

I nearly choke on my words but they come out so clear, "I never loved you." I lied "If I did, do you really think I would leave you like this?" I turn then, cause I can't bear to look at him anymore. The tears are spilling out now. How could I say that to him?

I continue to walk down the street knowing after saying that he won't follow me. I don't even know where I'm going, I just need to get away from here.

I walk in the rain, relieved no one is around. I remember the last thing Killian said to me "Did you ever love me? Not captain Hook the pirate but just me, Killian Jones?" I think to myself. Of course I did. Many times. I do love you! More than you'll ever know.

I turn a corner and bump into Regina. She straightens out her coat, while holding an umbrella in the other hand and seems to notice my tears. "Emma, what's wrong?" She holds the umbrella over both of us now.

I can't even get the words out. Seeing her here, I lose all my strength. I collapse on the walk way. Trying to speak but only uncontrollable sobs come out. Regina bends down and hugs me for a few moments.

I stand up and she stands up with me. Tears are still falling but I manage to tell her. "Killian and I broke up, for good."

"Why? I thought things were going well. I mean, he's certainly not my ideal man but you both seemed to make each other happy." Regina looks at me with confusion.

"It's the only way I can save him."

I can see the realization on Regina's face when she hears those words. "Your visions you've been having. There about him? I knew you were withholding the truth."

I nod while trying to wipe the tears and rain off my face.

"Why don't you tell him the truth? Hook is strong enough to be there for you. Sure he's an idiot but so are you. You always decide everything by yourself. You told me yesterday that he told you he would protect you..."

I interrupt her "I kill him." Finally saying it out loud, it really feels real.

Looking at Regina and seeing she finally knows my fears, I continue, "I'm leaving Storybrooke."

"When?" She asks

"Tonight! If I'm right, the darkness is going to come out of the hat and come for you!" She points at her. "And I'm going to get sucked away and consumed by the darkness."

Regina looks surprised "The darkness? What are you talking about?"

"Gold isn't the dark one anymore." I state

She seems to understand now, "And you know this from one of your visions?"

I nod! "Yes, and you're not going to tell anyone what happens to me! In order for my plan to work you have to forget everything I said to you and everything you see tonight. Can you do that?"

Regina replies, "I may be able to mix up a memory erase potion. But you're not exactly giving me a whole lot of time."

This has to work! If it doesn't then everything I undid will be completely wasted.

"Just try!" I beg! "If I'm right, then I will be gone soon. Meet me outside the library at 10:00 pm! Come alone!"

Regina nods and we both part ways.

It's 6:00 pm now when I arrive at home. I don't have much time to make this plan work. I need to say good bye to my family but that's easier said than done.

I walk in and my mom is feeding Neil and my dad is cooking something on the stove. "Hi honey!" My mom says!

"Hi!" I give her a half smile.

"Oh my god, Emma, you're soaked. What happened?" Mary Margaret asks.

"It started to rain when I was out. I didn't have an umbrella. I'm just going to go upstairs and change." Which was completely truthful.

Quickly I run up to my room and grab a bag. I peel off my wet clothes and put on a sweater and some jeans. I can't say goodbye yet. I need to have my bag packed first and ready to walk out the door before I say whatever it takes to keep them from following me.

After a few minutes I hear my dad from downstairs, "Emma is everything alright?"

Argh, what do I say to him.

"Everything is fine, dad." I yell down still throwing clothes into my bag, scrambling to make sure I don't miss anything they know I wouldn't leave without. I look at the strip of pictures Killian and I took yesterday and smile at them. I'm going to miss him so much. Holding back tears she puts the photos in her bag. I Think I have everything now. I walk down the stairs with my bag in hand.

Now they know something is up. My mom asks, "where are you going?" David crosses his arms and stands next to her mother.

"I'm leaving Storybrooke." I state!

"Why?" David asks "I thought you were happy here? What about Henry?"

"I'm going home!" I shout, my voice breaking in the right spot.

David walks forward, "did he hurt you?" His tone edged toward anger.

Knowing he was talking about Killian I instantly reply, "No!" I yell a few octaves higher.

"Did he break up with you?" David asks again.

"No!" I yell "I broke up with him." I go to the door now, about to turn the knob when my mom grabs me and turns me to face her.

Mary Margaret now asks "What happened, Emma? I thought you loved him?"

I glare at my mom, as fresh tears start to fall knowing exactly what I have to say in order for them to let me leave.

"I do love him. That's the problem. I can't do this anymore! I don't want to end up trapped in this town. I can't put down roots here." Her hands drop from my arms. I turn away and walk out the door.

David follows me now outside the door grabbing my arm. "Emma, don't go. We just got you back."

"Just let me go, David." I say my father's name, instead of dad to get my point across. "I tried to make things work but you and I bother know I don't have a future here. I won't be happy if I stay."

With those words he lets go of my arm and I run down the stairs and out the door. Its not raining as hard now. I get in my car and start the ignition and drive towards the town line.

I turn down a side road towards the park where my vision of killing Killian happens. It's dark now and no one is there. I speed up and drive my car into the pond. I grab the strip of photos and leave all my other possessions in the car and roll down the window. I climb out trying not to get the photos wet and swim to the shore.

I watch from the bench as my car sinks into the pond. There it goes.

I start to walk back into town. I should have thought this through better. I could have asked Regina to pick me up. No turning back now.

I look at the photos of Killian and I, and I start to cry again. I'm sorry Killian, this is the only way I can see me being able to change your fate. If we aren't together anymore, if you don't love me, than you won't follow me. As long as your in this world, away from me, you'll be safe.

She makes it to the library with seconds to spare, Regina already waiting. "I've done what I needed to do. Here's what you need to do. When I absorb the darkness the dagger used to control the dark one will be left behind. I need you to take it and throw it in the bottom of the well in the woods. Then forget everything! Can you do that?" I ask

Regina nods. "You think this plan will work?"

"It has to." I reply.

The future is always changing and already it's completely different now than it was in my vision.

I look up at the clock. It's 10:01. I have less than 14 minutes to get the dagger. "Wait here." I tell Regina.

I run over the Gold's shop. The sign says closed but the door is unlocked. I walk in and see Bell. "Any change?" I ask

"No he's still not awake." She replies.

"Is the hat still here? I may have found a way to contain the darkness. It may save Gold but I need the hat and the dagger." Being completely truthful but withholding the details of me absorbing it.

Bell walks to the back for a moment but comes back quickly with the dagger and the hat. "Thank you, Bell."

She replies "I'm glad you're feeling better. I heard you took some time off from work. I hope that this will be the last time you have to save us. With darkness gone maybe we will all get our happy endings." She smiles at me, genuinely hopeful.

"I hope so." I smile back at her. Except for me, I think to myself.

I walk out onto the street. It's now 10:13 on the clock. I rush back to Regina. As soon as I reach her I drop the hat and the darkness comes out, surrounding Regina. At first I hesitate, seeing it now, the darkness, it scares me. Will she still be herself when she takes the darkness. I never saw a vision of myself when I was dark except when I kill Killian. No one else is here so she knows she's changed fate. Hopefully it will be enough.

She reaches up with the dagger in her hand. Taking all the darkness into herself and she disappears into the night, leaving Regina alone with a dagger that has Emma swans name on it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Killian POV:

I yell "Swan!" And she turn to face me just a few feet away. Trying to hold back tears I ask, "Did you ever love me? Not Captain Hook the pirate, but just me, Killian Jones?"

I look into her eyes as she looks back at me "I never loved you. If I did, do you really think I would leave you like this?" She turns again and walks away.

I stand there, tears now falling. How could this have happened? Yesterday was the most amazing day of my 250 years he's been alive, that he can recall. What changed between now and last night?

The rain starts to come down even harder as the thunder claps again. He is completely soaked through his leather jacket now. He turns the opposite direction that Emma went.

I walk into Granny's and order myself a drink and sit there. Still soaking wet, dripping water onto the floor. I keep rethinking what just happened. I sit there for maybe thirty minutes knocking back shot after shot. I can feel the liquor numbing my mind but the heart ache is still lingering. I'm six shots in when I order another.

"I think you've had enough" Granny says.

Now I can't have a drink to drown my heart break? "Can't a pirate get drunk in this god forsaken town?!" I yell!

Now everyone in the diner is looking at me. Robin gets out of the booth he was sitting in and walks up to me. "Look there is no need to get upset. Granny just wants you to get home safely." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I control my own destiny. No one tells me what I can and cannot do. If I want another drink, I bloody well will have one!" I yell and shake his hand off.

"What's this about, mate?" He asks.

"Why does there have to be a reason?" I retort back at him.

"Because you're not acting like yourself." He states.

"I've always been like this. I was just distracted by a pretty lass that clearly wasn't my time." I say angrily

"So it's about Emma. I thought things were going well. Did you ask her to move into that house you found?" Robin continues to ask, "Did she turn you down?!" I see the pity in his eyes and it makes me feel worse.

"I never even asked her. It doesn't matter now. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me." I explain as I swipe the bottle from the counter when granny wasn't looking and start to walk out of the diner.

"Wait!" Robin raises his voice and follows me out the door. "What happened?"

I turn to face him, "She broke it off with me. I have no clue as to why." I think for a moment then I continue, "I guess I'm just not good enough for a princess."

I continue to walk towards my ship but I notice Robin stops following me after that. It's not very far from Granny's, the dock where my ship is. I go down to my cabin and fall back onto my bed and take a swig from the rum bottle I stole.

I pick up the photographs that we took at our date yesterday and look at them. They both look so happy together. Truth be told he was happy. He thought she was too. I guess looks can be deceiving. He rips the strip of photos in half tosses them onto the floor of his cabin.

"To hell with love! To hell with happy endings!" He says out loud but knows no one will hear him.

I falls asleep, dropping the rum bottle on the floor. When he wakes up he hears people walking aboard his ship. He walks up to the brig and sees David and Mary Margaret. It's daylight so he must have slept all night, he presumed.

David walks up to me and punches me in the face, "How could you?!" I hold the side of my face where he just hit me and look at him.

"Once a pirate always a pirate! I knew I should have kept you from our daughter!" He continues, then Mary Margaret grabs his arm attempting to pull him away from me.

"Aye, I am a pirate and the captain of this vessel. Now that you've just hit me, I think it's time you get off my ship!" I yell

They don't move. Instead they continue to interrogate me. "How could you break her heart?" Mary Margaret asks as she tries to hold David back

Now I'm confused. "I did no such thing. If anyone's heart was crushed, it was my own." I reply.

I pause for a moment seeing there confusion. I don't really want to know but I ask anyway. "Why? What did she tell you I did?"

Mary Margaret replies, "She said she broke up with you but we thought she was lying to us. We thought she made that up so we wouldn't hate you." She looks over at David. "She told us the truth. She broke up with him!" Gesturing at me.

"Well I think you owe me an apology, mate." I say to David.

He looks right at me and continues to ask, "why did she break up with you?"

"How the hell should I know what goes on in her crazy mind. I was daft to think she actually loved me." I shake my head. "Ask her yourself! I'm done with all of this." He gestures to them. "The lot of you."

"Emma left town. She's gone, Hook." Mary Margaret states.

I look up at them both. Why? Did she leave town to get away from me? What about her family? Henry?

"Where's Henry? Did she take him with her?!" I ask, still shocked.

David and Mary Margaret both shake their heads. David says, "she didn't even say good bye to Henry before she left."

Something's not right. She would never leave her boy. "Emma would never leave Henry! I know her, even better than she knows herself."

David and Mary Margaret nod in agreement.

David asks "Did she say anything to you about where she was going or why?"

I look down and think for a moment, back to last night. She didn't say a word to me about leaving town. I shake my head. "I'm afraid I don't recall her mentioning leaving." Suddenly I remember those talking devices. "Wait, did you try using the talking phone?"

"It's just called a phone." David replies, "And yes, we called her many times last night and this morning. It just goes to voicemail."

I don't know what to say now. Despite everything I don't want Emma to be hurt or lost. I hope she's alright.

Mary Margaret walks up to me, putting her hand on my arm "I don't know what came over her or why she left us but one thing I do know, she loved you." I looked at Mary Margaret and she truly believed that.

"I appreciate the kind words but if you had heard what she said to me, you wouldn't think that she did." I reply with a fake smile.

"We hurt the ones we love the most, often without meaning to." She says.

"I'm sorry I hit you" David apologizes.

I wave them away and they finally leave.

The anger from last night is gone now, leaving an empty feeling inside. I go back down into my cabin and see the photographs ripped up on the floor. I pick up the pieces and hold them together. Tears start to spill. I'd never cried so much over anything. I still love her even though she ripped my heart out.

Now she's gone, leaving a hole in my heart where she's supposed to be. "Love is just a bloody waste of time" I yell out loud to myself. I will never open my heart to anyone every again, I swear to myself. I look at the photos again. I will keep these as a reminder of how much of a fool I was to think anyone would ever love me.

Several weeks after Emma left I get promoted to Emma's job.

Mary Margaret and David continue to try and find Emma. Eventually they start to get letters of delinquent bills. Of course they still have hope that their daughter will return. I'm not so sure. She left everyone, even her own son.

I guess we didn't really know her at all. She was always living her life like it was always a storm. She was always fighting. Fighting to keep the happiness away.

As time went on, I thought about her less and less. The dull pain of losing her was becoming something more bearable. Until one day, nearly three months after she left, a child skating on the pond in the Enchanted Park falls through a thin patch of ice. During the rescue they find Emma's car, completely submerged.

The cut on my heart, seeming to be healed reopened and the pain came flooding back in.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's note: "A drop in the Ocean- By Ron Pope" This song inspired me when I wrote this chapter. Something that reminds me of Hook and his devotion to Emma even after she broke his heart. The lyrics will be placed in this chapter during certain parts._

_Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I will be taking a break for a bit because I have exams coming up December 1st but I promise I will be back at it._

Chapter 9:  
Killian POV:

I watch as the tow truck slowly pulls the little yellow car out of the pond. I thought the day Emma left us would be the hardest day of my life but knowing she was out there, somewhere, made moving on just a little more bearable.

Now standing here, in Storybrooke, pulling her car out of the pond my worst fears are brought to head.

I look over my shoulder at David. He seems to be holding it together. He's far stronger than I. We closed the park off with caution tape but people are still standing around watching as we pull the car out.

When we got the 911 call two days ago we never expected this. We came here in the nick of time to save that little boy and when David was pulling the boy to safety he saw a glimpse of yellow underneath the ice. To think this car has been here for three months and no one noticed, surprised me.

"No!" I hear Mary Margaret scream as she arrives at the scene. The car is now completely excavated out of the water. She runs towards the car but David grabs her before she can get close to it. She starts to cry as he holds her to him.

"Don't look." David pleads with his wife. He kisses her head. "Our daughter wouldn't want us to remember her like this." Tears start to fall down David's face now. They stand there not moving.

I walk up to the car and open the passenger door. Water falls out onto the ground along with a large bag. I pick it up and open it and find her familiar clothes. The leather jacket she would always wear. I hold it up remembering she called it her armor. It was meant to protect her but she wasn't wearing it.

I stand there and dump the rest of the contents on the ground. I hear Mary Margaret scream in hysterics. I look over at David, still holding his wife but they are now collapsed on the ground. "Get her out of here, mate." I yell "I can handle this."

David, tears still falling, nods and stands. Pulling his wife up from the ground, he walks away into the crowd.

Now that they are gone I take a closer look in the car. I see her keys still in the ignition. I pop open the glove compartment and find her wallet and cellphone. The wallet has all her IDs and ATM cards. Everything is here that one would take if they were leaving town.

Among the contents on the ground, I notice a sock that doesn't match the others. I go to pick it up and notice Its full of cash. There are hundreds of dollars here. Enough money to start a new life.

I look back in the car. I don't see Emma's body. I open the back door thinking maybe shes there. More water spills out but she is no where to be found. "How in the bloody hell?" I say out loud to myself.

Then I see it. The window was rolled down on the drivers side. She must have crawled out through the window. She's alive? The relief of knowing she escaped only lasts a moment when I realize she is still missing. So she didn't drown in her car, but she doesn't have any of her possessions.

"Where are you Swan?" I ask, as I pull out the strip of photos we took the day before she disappeared. I look at them and tears well up in my eyes.

_"A drop in the ocean,_  
_A change in the weather,_  
_I was praying that you and me might end up together._  
_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_  
_But I'm holding you closer than most,_  
_'Cause you are my heaven."_

They are in rough shape after ripping them in anger all those months ago. I managed to tape them back together. I now carry these photos with me everywhere I go as a reminder that I was once happy.

I start to bag up the evidence I tossed all over the ground. All of her things. I put everything in the trunk of the squad car.

I walk back over to the yellow car and I close the doors. "Take this to the police station." I yell to the tow truck driver.

Watching as the yellow car disappears down the dirt road, I turn towards the pond. I don't know where you are or if you're alright but I plan to find out.

I get into the car and drive away. Leaving the caution tape up but knowing people are going to cross it. I don't care anymore. Maybe they will see something I missed. Anything that will help find her.

I arrive back at the sheriff's station. I notice David isn't here. I throw my jacket on the chair and pull back my hair. Now that I know Emma didn't leave town it's time to relive those last moments we saw her.

Traffic cams? Maybe there are recordings that will tell us where she is.

I log into the police surveillance database and type in the date she went missing. I sit back and let it play through starting around 3:00 pm that day. There are 12 cameras placed in different areas in the town which doesn't sound like much but it covers most of the major parts.

At 6:25 pm I see Emma driving outbound towards the town line from her parents house but watching the town line camera she doesn't drive past it. She must have turned onto the dirt road to the park where she drove her car into the pond.

At 8:00 pm I see her walking back towards town on the old Highway. I see her again at 10:00 pm in front of the library. She's with someone but I can't make out the dark figure. She runs away from the figure into Gold's shop. Maybe she spoke with Bell that night? I thought.

The time on the video shows its 10:13 pm and she's walking out of Gold's shop back to the dark figure on the street. I see her place something on the ground and she's holding something else in her hand but I can't make it out. Then I see it. The darkness that came out of the crocodile, coming out of the object she placed on the street. That's the scourers hat!

The darkness circles around the dark figure on the street and then within seconds I see Emma reach into the twister of darkness and it goes up beyond the camera.

She's gone and I see the lone figure standing on the street. I pause the video at the right moment and zoom in. I know exactly who that is. Seething I say her name "Regina! You have a lot to answer to."

She bends down and picks up the object Emma had been holding moments before she disappeared and she walks away. Was that the dark one's dagger?

Did Emma release the darkness? Where is she?

After watching the video multiple times he slammed his hands on the keyboard in frustration. I wish it had bloody auto.

He looks at the clock. Its now past midnight. I want to call David and tell him what I found but its such a late hour. I'll tell him tomorrow. Hopefully he gets more sleep than I. I lock up the station.

_"Still I can't let you be,_  
_Most nights I hardly sleep._  
_Don't take what you don't need, from me."_

I pull into the driveway to my house. The place I rest my head but to call it home? Its not my home. Home left me months ago when she disappeared.

I walk up stairs to my bedroom. I take off my shirt and my arm brace. I remove the rest of my clothes and slip into the shower. After everything today, a cold abrasive shower seems like a good idea.

I dry myself off after the shower. I slip on some fresh boxers and crawl under the covers.

Since we rescued that boy from the pond I hadn't slept. It wasn't for lack of trying but the thought of Emma meeting her end, alone, was unbearable. Now knowing she was likely consumed by darkness, I have hope. Hope that she's still alive somewhere. If she is in a place where magic exists then she would be immortal.

I close my eyes and try to sleep but I end up tossing and turning all night thinking about her.

When I arrive at the station the next day, I see David is already there. He's watching the video I left on the screen.

David says "I should have stopped her!" He looks down at his hands, "I am her father. I'm supposed to protect her!" He punches the table in anger.

"You didn't know!" I explain, "None of us did."

"She's been gone for months. The darkness is in her and she's all alone." David says

"Well we know now, so let's use this new knowledge to try and bring her back to us." I try to sound confident. "The last person to see Emma was Regina, and it looks like she has the dagger." I point to the video.

"Let's go!" David grabs the car keys off the table and starts for the door.

We drive to the mayor's office. We walk into her office and she greets us without looking up, "Good morning David, Captain Jones. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

David jumps straight to the point, "Where is Emma?!"

She looks up from her paperwork now, "I don't know. She's been gone for months. Last I heard you found her car in the pond at the Enchanted park. It's not hard to imagine what happened to her." She replies with some sadness in her tone.

"We have proof that you were the last one to see her that night. Tell me the truth. Where is the dagger?!" He asks, starting to let anger take over.

"What dagger?" Regina asks, looking confused. "The dark one's dagger? What's going on?" She turns to me.

"We checked the traffic cameras from that night. You and Emma were outside the library. From what we can tell, She got consumed by the darkness and disappeared." I reply

Regina actually looks completely surprised. How could she not know? She was standing right next to her when it happened in the video.

"I have no recollection of that ever happening. Believe me, if I saw Emma become the dark one I would remember." She looks down and then back up at us, "We've been through this before." She explains as she recalls "It's not out of the realm of possibility that someone made me forget what happened that night."

"Is there a way we can make you remember? Perhaps a potion of sorts?" I ask, remembering having such a potion for Emma back when she had forgotten about everything.

"There may be something I can do." She goes to grab her bag. "Meet me at my vault in an hour."

"What do you plan to do?" I ask

"I may not be able to remember but maybe we can find a way to contact her." And she walks out.

Contact Emma? Will she be the same person after being consumed by the darkness? Is she even trying to return home?

David calls Mary Margaret to update her on the plans and the new information that has come to light and asking her to meet us at Regina's vault.

When we get there, she's already hard at work doing what she does best. Magic.

"I'm almost done. I just need something that belonged to her." She looks around her vault.

"Here!" Mary Margaret pulls something off her wrist. "It's the shoe lase that she used to wear. I've been wearing since she left."

She hands it to Regina. "Thank you." She puts it into the pot in front of her.

Suddenly a puff of smoke comes out of the pot and she appears before us. She's wearing a white top with a white cloak and hood. She looks like she's running from something as she seems out of breath. She leans against something but we can't make it out.

"Emma!" David yells! "Can she hear us?" He asks Regina.

Regina didn't even get to answer before Emma reacts to David's voice. She squeezes her eyebrows together. "Are you pretending to be my father now, Rumple?" She asks

What is she talking about? Who is she talking to? "Can she see us?" I ask.

"Killian?!" She asks in a whisper, but clear surprise in her voice.

"No she can only hear us. Emma where are you?" Regina asks. "This spell won't last long. We want to help you come home but we need to find out where in the world you are."

She looks right at us now, some how knowing. "I don't want to be found." She looks over her shoulder again then back at us.

"Surely you don't mean that." Mary Margaret starts to say, "We are your family, we love you more than anything! We've spent countless nights awake wondering where you were. Please, Emma."

I see it for just a brief second but a look of sadness crosses her face but she's quick to recover from it. I don't think anyone else noticed.

She replies, "Emma is dead! Don't waste your lives on a girl that is long gone." Suddenly we see an arrow fly towards her. She catches it with ease and tosses it aside.

"She's in danger!" David yells. "Emma!"

Arrow after arrow she catches them, we can see her walking towards something, or someone. Shes not alone. Someone else is talking to her, as she keeps looking over her shoulder. Suddenly we see her reach forward and she pulls back her hand, now holding a heart. She crushes it in her hand.

"Emma!" Mary Margaret cries!

"Like I said before, Emma is dead. I'm the dark one now!" And then the smoke fades and she's gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:  
Killian POV:

When the smoke clears and Emma disappears with it, all I'm left with is a sick feeling in my gut.

The only sound I can hear is Mary Margaret's sobbing. I look at Regina and she looks as grim as I feel. What do we do now? That wasn't Emma but I saw a glimmer of emotion. There is still hope that we can save her.

"Did any of you notice her reaction when you," I point to Mary Margaret, "told her you loved her?" I ask. "I saw emotion! That means there is a part of her that still feels something. Surely that means she can be saved? She hasn't completely embraced the darkness, right?" I say, trying to be optimistic.

Mary Margaret tries to compose herself before she says, "She's completely lost! There must be some way we can find her. If we can get to her, maybe we can find a way.."

Regina interrupts her, "Did you see her? She's beyond saving!"

"I believe Hook. If he saw it, than there is hope. I have faith." He nods at me.

Suddenly David's phone starts to ring. He answers it. "David. He's awake? What? She's where?" He lowers the phone looking completely shocked.

"What? Out with it David!" Regina asks impatiently.

"That was Bell! Rumple Stillskin is awake and he knows where Emma is. She's in Camelot."

"Where in the bloody blazes is that?" I ask, confused. "And how the hell does the crocodile know where she is? He's been unconscious for months."

David pauses, clearly thinking of a logical explanation.

Mary Margaret finally speaks, seeming to have control over her emotions again. "Maybe they are connected somehow? In order to become a darkone you have to kill the existing one. None of them have ever survived."

That's right. If the stories are true, you must kill the darkone with the dagger, and if you succeed you are granted the power of dark magic. Emma didn't kill the crocodile. The darkness was removed from him in the non-traditional sense and Emma embraced the darkness when it was let loose.

Of course the crocodile knows where she is. He's the reason she's gone. He's the reason for everything.

I look over at Regina "Regina, we need to find that dagger. If we can find it, we can command her to return." I finally state, with anger in my tone.

She nods, "I don't know where to start but I have a feeling Rumple knows." She starts to walk up the stairs outside into the graveyard.

We all follow behind her.

-

Meanwhile in Camelot  
Emma POV:

Emma drops the remainder of the heart she just crushed to the ground. Staring back at the person that was attacking her moments ago, now lifeless on the ground.

She had done everything she could not to use her powers to harm anyone since she came to Camelot. This was the first time she's killed and it won't likely be her last. Now she is being chased by King Arthur's men because she stole the last thing she needed. Excalibur!

I gained knowledge of this blade from my visions. It is broken but with the flame of Prometheus it will be whole once more and I will be able to destroy the darkness.

She could have easily got away but she got distracted by that spell. The last thing she needed was more voices in her head.

It's been several months since she came here with no interference from anyone from her past life. What changed? I was so careful when I left. How did they find me?

When I heard my father and my mother, it made me realize how much I miss them. And I heard his voice. Killian was there. Even after everything he still trying to find me.

I can't let them. I have to ensure it, at all costs. I may not have a future but they do as long as I'm not a part of it.

"You know what to do, dearie." The voice in my head said. Now that I'm the darkone all the previous darkones talk to me. It's enough to drive a person mad. Some times they are whispers, and other times its screaming. I can even see them from time to time, if I try to ignore the voices hard enough.

Regina cast that spell to contact her, not knowing where she was.

I look up in realization. It just occurred to me that Regina doesn't remember our conversation. Which means, I still have a chance to do this if I hurry.

Starting to Walk further into the woods, Emma disappears into a cloud of smoke of her own making.

-  
Meanwhile in Storybrooke  
Killian pov:

Regina gets a call from Henry and she contemplates how to tell the lad about his mother. Mary Margaret decides to go with her, leaving David and I to question the crocodile alone.

We walk into his shop and see him looking through a book on the front counter. David is the first to walk up, while I hang back a few feet.

"You're back among the living? How are you doing?" David asks.

"I don't remember much of what happened but I feel weaker." He gestures to himself. "All the magic I had is gone."

"But you know where Emma is?" David asked

"While I was 'dead' I dreamed about her. I know the land she is in is Camelot. The place where all darkones are made. One of the downsides to being a darkone is you get the burden of being one with every former darkone that has existed." He replies

"So Emma has all the memories of the former darkones?" I ask, confusion in my tone.

He glanced down at the table. "If only it were that simple. I'm afraid it's much worse than that. Can you imagine having someone whispering in your ear every moment of every day? Telling you what to do. Its one of the many prices you pay to be the darkone." He looks up now, smiling. "As weak as I am now, it's actually quite liberating."

"We need to save her." David states, "You have to help us get her back!"

"Oh, I don't have to do anything." He spits back. "She can stay right where she is. Even if I wanted to help, like I said before, I don't have magic."

I walk up to him losing the will to resist. Anger clouding my thoughts. He knows how to get her back here and I'll make him tell us.

I grab Rumple by the collar of his shirt lifting and holding him against the wall. I yell, "what aren't you bloody telling us?"

"I've told you everything I know. I wish I could help but I don't have magic anymore." He replies

David starts to tug on my arm "That's enough! He doesn't know anything."

I continue to hold him up, moving my hook against his neck drawing blood "I am the captain! I give the orders!" I spit out. "Tell me how to get her back!" I demand.

"Killian put him down! Stop!" David yells.

I turn my head to face David, still firmly holding the crocodile, pressing my hook further into his neck. "He is the reason I've lost everything. He doesn't deserve to live."

David looks back at me with sadness in his eyes, clearly understanding me, he replies, "He may be, but we don't get to choose if he lives or dies. We will find another way to save her. Killing him won't solve anything, even if he does deserve it." That last sentence had a bit more disdain to it.

I lower him down removing my hook slowly. He walks away from me quickly, into the back of his shop without another word. I look at David with an expression of hurt and anger, as that's all I feel right now. Darkness has a funny way of creeping up on you. I know it all too well.

Emma was the light in my life and now she's gone. In a land I have no idea how to get to. Alone and consumed by the darkness.

I was okay leaving her alone thinking she was in this world somewhere, possibly finding happiness with another. Now knowing she's been alone all this time in another world as the darkone, its unbearable.

David turns towards the door and then back at me, "It's getting late, Killian. Why don't we go grab a drink and pick this up tomorrow?"

I am so lost as to how he is keeping it together so well. "How can you be so calm, mate? She may be immortal but Emma isn't." I state

David gives a deep sigh and shakes his head. "I'm not calm. Truth be told, I am screaming on the inside. I don't know what we will do but one thing I do know, is that we will find her." He puts his hand on my shoulder. "That's what this family does. We find each other."

He has proven many times just that but this is far different. I give him a reluctant smile. "I hope you're right mate."

"Come on." David starts to walk towards the door.

I follow behind him reluctantly.

-  
Camelot  
Emma POV:

Reappearing in a puff of black smoke I walk towards a well. The well that is much like the one in Storybrooke, as it has the ability to bring back something that is lost.

I lean over the side and see it at the bottom. I snap my fingers effortlessly and it appears in my hand. I look at the item with my name engraved on it. The darkone's dagger, my dagger.

Before I left Storybrooke all those months ago I instructed Regina to drop the blade into the well so that when I was ready I could retrieve it.

She looks up and she's surrounded by all the former darkones, whispering to her. I won't give in to their wishes. I won't succumb even further into the darkness when I'm so close to freeing myself from it. The darkness uses everyone and anyone. I refuse to be a pawn. They want to snuff out the light.

I've pushed everyone away that I care about but it doesn't change the fact that I still need to stay strong and remember those I love. I won't fail.

"Now it's time to free Merlin and remove the darkness for good." I say out loud to myself as she looks at her dagger.

With the snap of my fingers a cloud of black smoke swallows me as I transport myself away.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Emma POV:

In front of a giant ancient tree she starts to prepare the spell needed to free Merlin.

In the vision she had involving freeing Merlin from his prison she had to use a tear from Henry's broken heart to complete the spell. A broken heart she caused when she stole the heart of a little girl Henry was fond of and made her reject him. Thinking about it now, she can't believe she would do that to her own son. She wanted Merlin's help but there is always another way. She took the easiest way out. Now that no one is here with her she had to find another way.

Her own broken heart. I've tried to forget that rainy day. The day when I told him I didn't love him even though it was a lie. I've dreamed about it over and over and cried many times. But you don't know about that, do you?

She holds up the strip of photos she brought with her. The one thing that she didn't lose when she arrived at Camelot. She touches Killian's face in one of the photos, tears now falling into the bottle.

With that the spell was complete. I look up at the tree wiping the tears from my face trying to compose myself. Light and dark magic start to surround me. I try to grab it and will it to form into balls around my hands and aim them at the giant tree.

In that moment king Arthur and several knights run into the field attempting to surround me.  
"Give me the sword!" Arthur yells.

I quickly toss five of them aside with ease with a wave of my hand. The other hand still direct towards the tree. They close in on me and I fall back still pushing the magic towards the tree.

Suddenly the magic dispersed and the tree fades away leaving a man kneeling on the ground. Everyone turns to face him. He stands up and removes his hood smiling at me. "I've been waiting for you, Emma. Welcome back."

Welcome back? Does he know this has happened before? I nod at him in acknowledgement not daring to speak.

He turns towards Arthur. "And you! The boy who would be king. My great hope. How you disappointed me." He frowns

Arthur scoffs in response, "I disappointed you?" He points at Merlin, "you gave me false prophecies." Pointing away at nothing continuing his argument, "sent me on an impossible quest. You ruined my life!" He pulls out a sword and points it at him.

Merlin stands there completely confidently, "put the sword away Arthur. You and I both know that sword cannot hurt me."

Arthur sheaths the sword. "This is not finished." He backs away and leaves with his knights following closely behind him.

Merlin looks over at me now. "I see you have the dagger and the broken sword. You've been quite busy."

I nod at him, "I have been preparing for months. I know what I must do. Are you ready to help me do this?" I ask

He steps forward so we are just a few inches apart. "Emma, is your heart truly ready to be free? Because it's as much up to you as it is me." Merlin states

I look down at the ground. I have nothing left after this. As soon as the darkness is removed from me I will be mortal again. I will die.

As if Merlin can read my mind he lifts my chin up so I am forced to look at him. "If you believe hard enough in something you can change your fate." He states with confidence.

I look at him confused. "Everything has changed since time reverted back. Nothing has played out exactly the same. I've may have changed my path to the destination but I know my fate is inevitable." I state, trying not to let hope creep up in me.

Merlin let's go of my chin and turns around looking up at the sky, stars shinning brightly in the darkness. "You've done many impossible things, Emma. Have a little faith."

I look up to the sky now. What does he see up there? All I see are the stars and the black sky. "I don't exactly have anything to look forward to after this, even if I escape my fate. I pushed everyone away."

Still looking at the sky Merlin replies, "They will forgive you Emma. You plunged into the darkness knowing what would happen. And you did it twice, to protect those you love."

I don't know if he is right but a little glimmer of hope sinks in. Maybe I can go home. I miss them all so much. Henry, my parents, Killian. A tear runs down my cheek.

He turns towards me again, looking at me with the biggest smile. "Are you ready, Emma?" He asks

I nod, "I'm ready."

We both disappear into a cloud of black smoke and reappear in field of pink roses. I recognize it from one of my memories of the future. This is where I turned Killian into a darkone in a self attempt to keep him in my life. He was going to die but I couldn't bear the thought of losing him so I tethered him to Excalibur, turning him into a darkone. This time, it's just me here. Killian is still alive and safe in Storybrooke.

Merlin interrupts my thoughts, "Do you have the flame?"

I nod and pull out the little box and open it. I light it with ease and place it on the ground. I pull out the dagger and the sword holding them both skyward.

Suddenly Rumple Stillskin appears. I know he is a figment of my imagination but he distracts me for a moment. "Why won't you leave me alone?" I ask quietly.

"Why would we? We are able to witness something historical!" He states.

Suddenly he disappears and Nimue appears. The first darkone and Merlin's love.

"Nimue!" Merlin breathes shock on his face.

She whispers in my ear, "If you do this Emma, you will be a nobody. Powerless. You will pay the ultimate price once you become mortal."

"Don't listen to her, Emma!" Merlin says.

She looks over at him, "it's been a long time Merlin."

Tears well up in his eyes. "I've thought of you everyday."

She looks at him, angry, "and now on your last day, I'll be your last thought! How poetic." And with those last words I lose control and drop the sword and dagger. She makes me cast a spell pushing him away.

He wreaths in pain on the ground.

"You love him? Why would you do this?" I ask.

She looks over at me, "because when someone can't accept you for who you really, truly are, you have to make them or kill them." I can feel her trying to control my movements again. "We must destroy anyone who threatens us. Kill him!"

I lose complete control and try to choke him with a spell. She continues to yell at me, "He wants you to make a sword to destroy me. To destroy us! You must kill him to protect those you love. So you can remain powerful enough to protect them."

I know what Nimue wants. For her and all the other Dark Ones to be free and live once more to snuff out the light. That may have happened in one time line but it won't happen now.

"I don't need your power to protect my family. Love is what makes me powerful." And a wave of power comes out of me with that last word and she disappears.

I grab Merlin's hand and pull him back up. "Are you alright?" I ask with concern. "I'm sorry I lost control."

He catches his breath and smiles at me putting his hand on my shoulder. "That's alright Emma! I knew you'd take the right path."

"Let's get this over with!" I say, ready to rid myself of the darkness. I hold the sword and dagger together and will the flame to light. It rises up to the sword and dagger and they simultaneously become one. The sword is now floating in front of me. I grab hold if the handle and look at it. My name still engraved on it. I hand it to Merlin.

"You've done what no other darkone was willing to do." Merlin nods at me, "you've brought light and darkness together." He takes the sword in his hand looking at it.

"I did it to save the ones I love. Even if I don't have a future with them, knowing they are safe is enough." I admit.

Merlin nods at me, "You've sacrificed a lot for those you love, Emma. I know what you did to save Killian. The spell you cast is slowly taking its toll on you. I can see it already. Once I remove the darkness, you will die. You're already on borrowed time." He looks saddened when he states what I already know to be true.

"There isn't much I can do to change that now. If I could do it over again I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't make anyone else pay for my mistakes." I smile at Merlin, being completely truthful with him. "Besides, I burned my bridges with my family before I left, knowing I would never see thing again." I state looking down at the ground.

"Knowing the future and being able to see things as they happen can be a terrible burden. One that weighs heavy on the soul, at times." I start to see a little glimmer in his eyes. "But I know this, Emma. Death cannot stop true love! All it can do is delay it for a while. You will be happy again."

I look at him, feeling hope for the first time in months. I can feel my eyes pooling with unshed tears. I should have been honest with my family all those months ago.

"Are you ready, Emma?" Merlin asks.

I nod silently in agreement. I don't know what to expect but I am as ready as I will every be.

Merlin holds the sword skyward, "Thank you for everything." A bright light shines from the sword pulling the darkness from me into the light. The sword is now red and I can feel the power radiating from it. I know whats coming next. I've seen it in my visions when I used it to kill the man I love. I close my eyes not out of fear but welcoming what comes next. I feel the sharp pierce of the blade in my stomach and it only hurts for a moment when I'm suddenly engulfed in a warm light, losing consciousness.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: "Saturn - Sleeping at Last" The song that inspires this chapter.

Chapter 12:  
Killian POV:

Its been weeks since we made contact with Emma. Regina did manage to make a memory potion for herself. When she drank it, she remembered throwing the dagger into the wishing well in the forest.

It is said that the waters in the well possess the power to return that which is lost to its rightful place. When David and I went there, we found nothing.

Regina and Mary Margaret have been working on a spell to try and bring Emma back from Camelot but have had just as much bad luck as we have.

I'm currently at the police station, sitting down in front of the computer still watching the same video clip of Emma reaching into the darkness and disappearing.

I still cannot comprehend how I could believe Emma's lie all those months ago so easily. She told me she never loved me and I didn't question it because how could anyone love a pirate like me?

When Regina regained her memories she remembered Emma sharing something with her, "Emma told me that she had a vision of killing you. Say what you will but she loved you. I think everything she has done, she has done for love." Recalling what she said.

I slam my good hand on the table and bring it up to my face to rub my eyes. Sleep is something I find in short supply since we found out Emma was the darkone.

"You seem vexed."

I turn and look over and see David standing in the doorway with a paper bag.

"I brought granny's!" David smiles and holds up the bag. "Anything new?" He asks as he pulls up a chair next to me.

I look back at the screen and close the video clip leaving nothing open on the computer. "No, just reviewing old evidence." I reply as David hands me a burger. We both sit there quietly eating.

"Well, shall we start reviewing other cases? Maybe it will help us get our mind off things?" David suggests.

Right now I would welcome any distraction. "I love paperwork." I state as I roll my eyes.

David laughs at my response, "Emma felt the same way." as he shakes his head walking towards the desk full of papers and I follow. He turns back to face me then, "Despite our differences, I'm glad you're here."

"Aye, mate! Me too!" I smile back at him. David really has become a true friend.

Before we even pick up a file the police station emergency phone rings. Maybe this will be just the distraction we need. I rush over to the little black phone and answer. "Sheriff Jones!"

"Hook, you have to come quickly! We found a dead body at the beach! It looks like it may be Emma!" I hear Leroy on the other end of the phone.

"Don't do anything. I will be right there!" I hang up the phone and look at David. "That was Leroy. He found a dead body washed ashore at the beach. He thinks its Emma." I state, still in complete shock.

David puts his hands over his face and I see the tears start to well up in his eyes. I grab my jacket on the back of the chair and my keys to the car. I need to see it for myself. I look back over at David, "You don't have to come, mate. If Leroy is right, I don't want you to see your daughter like that."

David looks up with that comment. "No! I'm coming." He grabs his jacket and his cellphone and we run out the door and jump into the car. I turn the siren on and we speed down the main roads to the beach. It isn't far. When we get there, I can see Leroy and the other six dwarves all huddled together at the entrance of the beach. I look beyond them near the water and I see a white figure laying in the sand.

"No..." I say quietly recognizing the clothing instantly. David is behind me and he seems to notice it as well as I hear him gasp in shock.

I run. I don't know how but my legs manage to carry me until I reach her and fall into the sand. I roll her over and see her lifeless face. Kneeling down next to her I pull her up onto my lap and start to sob uncontrollably. I brush strands of hair out of her face. She's cold and completely still. I can feel the waves soaking though my jeans as the tide starts coming in again. I see David now, on the other side of her, falling down to the sand next to me. I slide her over to David's lap and he hugs her in the same embrace.

The world falls silent as I stand up and look around.

I know David is saying something but I can't hear anything. I wipe the tears away with the sleeve of my jacket. I look down at her lifeless body in David's arms. The shell of a body that looks like Emma, but all the light is gone. I thought the darkone was immortal?

Suddenly I see a stretcher and two EMT workers. They get David to put her on the stretcher and they start to perform CPR. I know she's been dead for a while but they still try to bring her back. I get the sudden feeling that I'm going to be sick and I look away.

I start to run, to no where in particular but just needing to get away from there. I reach the other end of the beach and I look back. I can't see them anymore. I look out into the water, "Why?!" Yelling out towards the ocean knowing it won't reply. "How could you take her away?!" The waves are higher than normal today because a storm is in the forecast for tonight.

I pull off my jacket walk out into the water, knowing I shouldn't but I needed to feel numb. I need to drown out my thoughts. Suddenly a strong wave comes and sucks me under. I try to surface but when I do another wave pulls me under again. I come up for air again and another wave crashes down on top of me.

I float under water and think to myself, this is good. I will drown and finally be with her again. It was a fleeting thought as hands reach down and pull me up out of the water.

When I surface I can see that the current took me over 200 feet away from the shore. The arms that grab me were familiar. I look at my rescuer, Smee as the crew on the ship pull us up.

"Are you alright, captain?" He asks as we reach the deck floor.

I look at him, still feeling the freshly broken heart. Feeling all the hope I had of reuniting with the woman I love lost, I shake my head. "No." And I sit on the deck without another word. Thankfully Smee and the other crew members say nothing further and sail towards the docks.

When we anchor at the dock I get off and walk over the Granny's. I enter the small dinner and move to sit at the bar. Granny is there, as always. "A glass of rum." I demand.

She hands me a glass and pours a little in. "What happened to you?"

I look down and notice my clothes are full of sand and are still quite wet. "Went for a little swim." I state as I down the drink. "Another!"

She pours more in my glass and walks away to take another order.

The door chimes open again and I hear a familiar voice. "Hook! Shouldn't you be at the hospital? The charmings are already there."

I look up to the ceiling trying to stay firm, "I don't really see much point." I reply.

Robin walks up to me, "You loved her. You should at least say goodbye." He states

I laugh in my glass and take another swig. "I was a fool to think we were some fairy tale romance, fated to be together and have our happily ever after." I say a little louder than I intended. Now everyone is staring at us. "Villains don't get their happy endings, and I'm no exception to the rule." I slam the glass down on the counter and walk out.

Robin follows me out onto the street. I can hear his footsteps behind me. I roll my eyes and turn to face him. "Clearly you won't leave a man in peace, so let's get on with it. As if I haven't suffered enough, you want me to look upon her face again knowing it will never smile, never change again." I say as the tears start to fall. That rainy day, I thought I had endured the worst pain imaginable but this was far worse.

Robin walks up to me, inches apart and embraced me into a hug. "We have to grieve and move on."

I close my eyes. I don't want to say goodbye. I just want to wake up from this never ending nightmare.

_

Three days later  
Killian POV:

Standing in the Storybrooke graveyard in front of a wooden box that contains her. It's been snowing long enough that the ground is covered. Everyone is here to say goodbye to her. People I never knew lived here, are here today. I can hear people crying as we all stand silently. Looking up at doctor Hopper as he moves to the side and clears his throat to speak.

"We Stand here today to remember a beloved daughter, mother, and friend. Emma spent most of her life alone but thanks to Henry, she was reunited with her family. Everything she did, she did to protect everyone here in Storybrooke. She is a true hero! She will be missed." He pauses a moment, "Killian has a few words to say about Emma." He gestures for me to come forward. "Come on up, Killian."

I walk through the crowd up to the casket. I turn so my back is to it and I look towards the crowd, suddenly feeling like my throat is too dry to speak. I open my mouth but the words don't come out. Doctor Hopper puts a hand of my shoulder and nods at me.

I cough and swallow hard, "When Emma and I met, there was just one thing I wanted. My revenge. I was a ruthless pirate who took what I wanted no matter the costs. But she did something no one else ever could. She showed me that a heart full of love is the most precious treasure of all." I start to choke up as the tears fall but I continue looking at everyone there, "We've lost her so many times. To curses, weakness, darkness, and now death. And even in death, she found us again." I pause for a moment trying not to break down. When David asked me to do a eulogy I didn't expect it to be so hard but now, in front of all these people I am starting to lose my courage.

"We are all here today for the same reason I am, because she touched everyone of us. Her light will live on in all of us." I step back into the crowd, as they all pat me on the back. I reach David and Mary Margaret and they both embrace me.

_"You taught me the courage of stars before you left_  
_How light carries on endlessly, even after death_  
_With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite_  
_How rare and beautiful it is to even exist_

_I couldn't help but ask_  
_For you to say it all again_  
_I tried to write it down_  
_But I could never find a pen_  
_I'd give anything to hear_  
_You say it one more time_  
_That the universe was made_  
_Just to be seen by my eyes_

_With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite_  
_How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist"_

With the ceremony over, everyone starts to leave. I wish I could have been there to protect her. I stare at the casket.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my back, I turn my head to see who it was. David gives me a small smile, and I turn my head back to the casket.

"We are going to Granny's for lunch if you'd like to join us?" He asks

Without looking back at him, I reply, "Thanks mate, but I think I'm going to stay here for a while longer. Not really feeling hungry at the moment."

Without words, he nods and walks away.

I put my hand on the casket and say out loud, "I love you, Emma. I will always love you."

"She loved you too." A voice says behind me. I turn to see who it was. A man in a dark gray suit, dark skinned is standing a few feet behind me. I don't recognize him.

"Do I know you?" I ask

He smiles at me, giving me the strangest feeling, "No, but I know you." He states. "Killian Jones, or should I say Captain Hook, the one handed pirate that fell in love with the savior."

I look down and sigh, "Aye, that is me." I look back up at him and smile with a look of annoyance, "You seem to know everything there is to know about me but I don't know your name. Who are you?"

"My name is Merlin. I am a friend of Emma's." He states.

Still not ringing any bells, "She never mentioned you. Are you from New York?" I ask, thinking that would be the only logical explanation.

He smiles, but shakes his head." No, I'm not from there." He walks closer to me so we are just inches apart.

"Well Merlin, It was a pleasure to meet you but I really must be going." I turn but before I can walk away he grabs my arm.

"If there was a way to get her back, would you be willing to do it?" He asks.

My eyes narrow, "I would do anything to get her back but..." Before I can finish my sentence he interrupts me.

"Even if it means she will forget you?" He asks.

I shake my head, "What are you even talking about? Emma is dead. Last time I checked no one can come back from that." I state in complete disbelief. "The last thing I need is false hope."

"With the remains of this," He holds up a bottle filled with a powdery substance, "And the tear of the one she loved most in this world, I can bring her back."

"What is that?" I point to the bottle.

"The remains of a sword long forgotten. Excalibur." He states as he looks at the bottle then back at me. "Will you do this?"

I look at the casket, "All you need is the tear of the person she loved most? Well I'm afraid that is not me, mate. Henry is her son. I can't imagine her loving anyone else more than that lad." I look at him again.

"You and I both know what you both shared. Emma sacrificed everything to save you, twice. If that isn't love, then I don't know what is." He shakes his head. "I've been wrong more times then I care to admit, but this, Killian, I know to be true."

I look into his eyes. He truly believes he can bring her back. "If I do this, the price I have to pay, is she will lose her memory?"

"True love is about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever  
but she won't remember any of them. She won't even remember meeting you." He says, with sadness.

She would forget me but she would live. I look one last time at the casket. "Will she be the same person? Will she be the darkone?" I ask.

"She will be the Emma you remember. Before she died she made sure the darkness would never snuff out the light again." He smiles with pride. "She did what no darkone ever could. She brought light and darkness together."

I smile back at him. She really is amazing. "If it means Emma, my Emma gets to return to the land of the living, then I will do anything." Even if it means she will forget everything we shared.

He smiles and nods. He walks up next to me and opens the casket. Looking down at her now, so pale and now dressed in her armor, her red leather jacket. Seeing her again all the feelings come rushing back to the surface. Even with the new hope settling in to my mind, she will forget me. She may not fall in love with me again.

Without even realizing it, tears start falling again. Suddenly a tear floats away from my face above Emma. Merlin opens the bottle and pours the dust over her body and the tear falls onto her cheek.

Nothing changes. She remains still as several minutes go by. I close the casket now. I can't bear to look at her anymore. "Well did you get a good laugh, Merlin?" I ask, hurt in my voice.

He just stands there, "Have a little faith, Killian."

I can't stay here anymore so I walk away from him. I only get a few feet when I hear a knock on the wood. "Leave Emma alone." I turn to look at Merlin but he is gone. I'm alone in the graveyard. Am I going crazy? Did I just imagine him into existence?

Suddenly I hear a familiar muffled voice "Where am I? Help me!" coming directly from the wooden box. I walk over slowly, not sure this is really real. "Is anyone there? Help!" I lift the lid and look down at her. All the color returned to her face, her bright green eyes staring up at me.

"Emma!" I say, completely breathless. She's alive! 


	13. Chapter 13

Emma POV:

I open my eyes and all I see is darkness. "Where am I?" I ask as I feel around. "Help me!" I yell as I start to panic. I'm in some kind of box and can barely move.

"Is anyone there?" I ask but get no reply. "Help!" I yell again as loud as I can.

Suddenly I see the the sun shining brightly above me. I squint to see, as my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. A man is looking down at me with bright blue eyes.

"Emma!" He says so quietly. Does this man know me? He moves back slightly and I sit up and look around. I'm in the graveyard back in Storybrooke. How am I here? I try to think back to the last moment I remember. I was with Merlin in Camelot and we had just united Excalibur.

Suddenly realization hits me. I died! I was stabbed. I reach down to my stomach and lift my shirt up. There is no mark there and I don't feel any pain. But sitting here now, in what is clearly a casket, I know I died.

I look up at the stranger, "I died?" I ask to confirm my thought.

He nods "Aye, love, you were dead." Sounding just as surprised.

"How am I here? Is this the underworld?" I ask, still confused.

He smiles at me, "No you are very much back among the living." He chuckled.

Tears start to well up in my eyes, I start to sob still sitting in the casket that was clearly mine. I'm alive even though I shouldn't be.

He stranger leans in and hugs me, clearly trying to comfort me. His embrace is warm and even though I don't know him I'm seeking comfort from him. I sob into his leather jacket for several minutes and he doesn't say a word.

I pull away, "can you help me out of this thing?" I ask still a little shaky from the shock of everything.

He nods. I stand up in the casket awkwardly. He wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up and lowers me down slowly. Holding me so close, our faces only a couple inches apart that I can feel his breath. I know I'm blushing but I don't know why. "Thank you. I think I can take it from here." I state as I look away trying to avoid his gaze.

As if he didn't realize he was still holding me he lets me go abruptly. I walk backwards a couple feet and look around. There is snow on the ground. How long was I gone? I can't remember. "What is the date?" I look back at him.

"December 20th." He replies.

I was in Camelot for months. I left Storybrooke in August. I've been gone for almost five months. The weather was different in Camelot but time wasn't exactly something I kept track of while I there.

I hear the man cough, pulling me away from my thoughts. "Why don't we go somewhere warmer? Perhaps find your mother and father? I know they will be so relieved to see you alive and well." He suggests.

I crinkle my eyebrows, I don't know who this man is but he knows me and he knows my family. "You know an awful lot about me but I don't know who you are."

His expression looks sad for a second but then he smiles, "My apologies, I am captain Killian Jones, I am the new sheriff in these parts. And you just solved my very first homicide." He laughs trying to make light of the strange situation.

I smile, someone coming back from the dead is impossible but in Storybrooke, it's just like any other day.

No, I don't think I should see my family. I shake my head. "I'm not sure they want to see me after everything I've done." I recall the hurtful things I said the last time I was here and what they saw me do when I was the darkone. I'm not sure I'm ready to face all the hurt I caused.

Seeming to realize exactly what I meant he holds out his hand for me. I hesitate. I want to take it but I don't know why I would. I look at him, and he gives me a small smile to reassure me. I place my hand in his. It's warm. "I know your heart is uneasy Emma, but your parents are the most understanding people I know. I may be a stranger to you but I feel like I know everything about you. Your parents are crazy about you and I know, despite everything, they just want you back." I smile, knowing he's right. "Come on." He nods towards the hill. "My car is just over there."

"Okay." I nod without further argument letting him tug me along.

I didn't notice before but he has a prosthetic hand on his left arm. Captain Killian Jones? As in captain Hook? Wait a minute, isn't he a villain? I remember going to Neverland on a ship called the Jolly Roger when we tried to find Henry but I don't remember meeting this man.

We reach the car, the sheriff's car, and he opens the passenger door for me. I get in. I want to ask him if he is captain Hook but I tuck that thought away for later.

He gets in and starts the car. It doesn't take long before he pulls up to Granny's. He shuts the car off and we sit there quietly. I am trying to work up the courage to get out and go in. He seems to realize my dilemma and sits with me.

"Would it be easier if I go in and tell them?" He offers.

I look over at him, I must look terrified because he grabs my hand. I am shaking but not because of the cold. I blink back tears and I can see the worry in his eyes. What's is wrong with me. We only just met but I am being so emotional around him.

"Can we go in together?" I ask.

"Sure!" He replies and gets out of the car to my side and opens the door for me, holding out his hand again.

I take it and stand. I let go and walk behind him. He walks ahead and I stick close as he walks into the dinner. Everyone is here. I try to hide behind him. I can see Regina, Robin, Henry in one booth. My parents and Neil in another with bell and Rumple.

"Killian!" I hear Henry yell! He jumps out of his booth and hugs him. Whoever he is to my son, they seem really close. Suddenly the place falls completely silent.

Henry let's go of Killian, "mom? I thought you died?" He asks looking up at Killian now.

"Yeah, I did kid! But now I'm back." I say, still a little shocked myself.

He runs up and hugs me tightly.

"Emma!" Both my parents yell, jumping out of the booth and running up to me. They embrace me with Henry. I can't hold back the tears any longer as they hold me. I missed them all so much.

"You're alive!" Mary Margaret holds my face up and wipes a tear away from my cheek. I smile back at her and nod.

"Welcome back, Emma!" Regina says a few feet away. She's standing with Robin.

"Thank you." I reply quietly with a small smile.

"How?" My father asks me.

I shrug and reply, "I have no idea. When I came to, I was in a casket, screaming for help when sheriff Jones found me." I state

"Sheriff Jones?" My dad asks, looking confused. "You know..."

"Mate!" Killian grabs David's shoulder, "I think your daughter has been through a lot. Perhaps it would be best if she went home." He suggests giving David a look but I can't quite get the meaning behind it.

David seems to understand something and nods in agreement. "Mary Margaret, why don't you, Neil, Henry and Emma head home. I'll run to the station to fill out a report and then we can order in some pizza?"

Mary Margaret nods. Something is up, that no one is telling me. "Wait! There is something you're not tell me. What is it?" I ask.

Killian goes to say something but David stops him. "I'll tell you when I get home. Promise." He smiles at me and kisses me on the forehead.

I nod accepting that answer for now. I turn to leave following behind my mother and Henry. I have a sick feeling in my stomach. I feel like something is missing from my life. I remember being so determined to protect my family from the darkness but I thought there was more to it. I was having visions of my future before but I can't remember what they were about anymore.

I put my hand on my face as I yawn. All of it can wait until tomorrow. It's good to be alive and home again.  
I smile as I look at my mom and son.

Killian POV:

I watch as Emma leaves with her mother. I am still shocked that this friend of Emma's was able to bring her back from death. I've never heard of anyone being able to do that. If the cost of that magic was for her to forget me, then I'm glad I paid it.

David is staring at me. I cough and nod at him, "why don't we discuss this privately." I walk to the back of Granny's. He follows behind me.

When I reach the back I turn towards him. "She doesn't remember who I am." I state bluntly.

David looks confused, "What happened when we left you?"

"A man showed up claiming to be a friend of Emma's. His name was Merlin. He offered to bring her back." I sigh, "You and I both know all magic comes with a price. Well I paid it. She doesn't remember anything about me or any of the moments we shared." I look down trying not to give away how sad that makes me feel. The alternative was to never see her again and that was far worse than this. "I took a chance and it worked! If it means she had to forget me, then it's a small price to pay to have her back."

David puts his hand on my shoulder and I look up at him. "We will find a way to fix this. Curses, potions and spells couldn't keep snow and I apart. If it's true love, you will both find your way back to each other."

I smile. Leave it to David to have hope. I don't even know if she still cared for me before she died. We did end things before she left all those months ago. She told me she never loved me.

David continues, "All we need to do is be honest with her. Let's just tell her what happened."

I scoff, "I know Emma. She will want proof."

"So we find proof. I'm sure there is something." David counters.

Maybe this will work. David and I walk out of Granny's. We wave goodbye and I jump in the car pulling out onto the street towards my home. We will find out tomorrow.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Emma POV:

When my eyes flutter open I can see the sun shining in my room. I'm home in my own bed. I never thought that would be possible. I gave into the darkness to save my family and I knew I was fated to die. And I did die but some how I'm here.

I sit up in my bed looking over at the alarm clock. Its 9:15 in the morning. I can hear my mother and father downstairs in the kitchen. I don't want to go down there and face all the pain I've caused them.

After I got home yesterday I expected to be questioned but my mom didn't ask me anything. She hugged me again and told me that my room was exactly how I left it and that she would be here for me if I needed her. Without another word I went up to my loft and crawled into bed falling asleep easily.

Now, just waking up I actually look around my room. My bag I packed was in the corner of my room. They must have found my car in the lake. It looks like it was gone through but everything was still there that I recall packing. There was another bag hanging up with my white cloak I was wearing back in Camelot.

It smelled like the ocean and was full of sand. They must of found me at the beach? I pull it out of the bag and I see a strip of paper fall out of the cloak as I shake it. I lay the cloak over the railing and bend down to pick up the paper. Its a strip of photos of me and that guy I met yesterday.

I run my fingers over the photos in confusion.

I don't remember meeting this man until yesterday. Looking at these photos, we looked really close. One of them I'm kissing him. The last time I opened up my heart was with Walsh, who turned out to be a monkey, and as always I had my heart broken again. Every man I was ever with died. I swore to myself I would never love anyone like that again so I wouldn't have to face all the hurt that comes with it.

Looking at these photos now a feeling of dread comes over me. This man clearly loved me at one point and I don't remember any of it. I take the photos and hide them under my pillow. Maybe its because I died. A side effect of death? I don't know anyone who ever came back from death before.

I shake my head. Time to face my family. No sense putting this off any longer. I walk down the steps and I'm greeted by smiles from both my parents. David is the first to speak. "Good morning, Emma! I hope you're hungry. I made eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast!"

I smile at him and pull up a chair sitting at the counter. "I'm actually very hungry! This all looks amazing, dad. Thank you!" I say. I usually call him David but saying dad felt right.

I see the biggest smile spread across his face and my mom and him both look at each other then back at me. They don't say anything as I eat. They continue to busy themselves cleaning the kitchen. When I finish my mom grabs the plate and washes it, handing it to my dad to dry.

"So when are you going to berate me? I've been expecting it since I walked into Granny's yesterday." I ask.

They both pause and look at me but say nothing.

I continue, "I know I deserve it. What I did... The way I left..." I take a breath trying to hold back my tears as they start to well up in my eyes, "I really hurt you both and I'm sorry." I say as the tears fall.

My mom comes around the counter and gives me a hug. "We don't care about all that now, Emma. We are just so happy we are all together again. We love you so much!" She starts to cry now choking on her words.

I sigh as she lets me go. "Everything I did, I did to protect all of you. The seizures I was having were visions of my future. I knew I was going to become the darkone but I also knew you would follow me to Camelot." I scrunch up my eyebrows as I try to recall my reasoning behind keeping them from following but I can't recall. "In my visions I killed... " I pause trying to recall who it was but I can't see their face. "I killed someone I loved. I had to prevent that future from ever coming true so I said hurtful things." I looked down, not wanting to see the pain in their eyes. "I said things I can never take back but I did what I felt was necessary to make sure you didn't follow me. I drove my car into the lake so you would think I left town when my car was gone. I had Regina toss the dagger into the well and drink a potion to forget what happened to me." I shake my head, "And it worked. The future had completely changed and I managed to keep you all safe." I laugh to myself. "I was alone but I knew you all would be safer if I was no where near you."

David put his hand on my shoulder. "You should have told us the truth, Emma. Facing the darkness alone couldn't have been easy."

I look up at my father and I know he is right but I can't change what I did now. "One of my visions, I had Rumpelstiltskin cast a spell so I could go back in time to change the future. The cost of that spell was a life. Mine. It took me a while to understand what that meant but once I realized that I was going to die I did all those things so that you would all think I was out there somewhere. I thought if you didn't know that I was dead it would somehow be easier for you to move on." I shake my head knowing that clearly wasn't true. They never stopped trying to find me.

Mary Margret grabs my hand, "What you did was noble, sacrificing yourself for the happiness and safety of others. You've done that all your life. You fight when it matters Emma but you should have trusted us with this."

I scoff, "Knowing the future is a heavy burden. My only chance at changing the future was if I didn't make the same mistakes. When this happened the first time you followed me to Camelot. Everyone did. In the end because of me, you were all in danger and I lost someone I loved." I start to sob now struggling to get the words out. "I always get left behind but I couldn't bear to lose one more person. Not this time."

Both David and Mary Margret hug me tightly and I hug them back. We stay like that for several minutes. Once I stop crying my parents let go and my dad asks me, "Are you still the darkone?"

I pause thinking about it, "No. When I died, the darkness died with me. I'm just me. Hopefully it remains that way even though I'm somehow back." I smile, still completely surprised.

David smiles, "Well this gets me to a sensitive topic but it needs to be said." He pauses and sighs, "Killian, the Sheriff, he is the reason you're back."

I stare in shock but wait for him to explain. My father just stares back at me waiting for something I can't comprehend so I ask, "How?"

Mary Margret smiles with a little sadness in her eyes, "True love."

I can feel my mouth drop as the words come out but I still cannot believe it. I'm pretty sure I would remember if I shared true love with someone. True love is the rarest magic of all and while I'm fully aware I am the product of true love I never believed I would ever find it myself.

David is the first to break the silence. "You've forgotten him, but you told your mother and I you loved him. Somehow the love you shared brought you back but the cost was your memories of him."

I saw those pictures in my loft but hearing this now, I'm more confused than ever. "There is just no way." I shake my head.

Even though it was over a year ago I can still remember losing Walsh like it was yesterday, monkey or not, that love was real for me. Love had only brought me pain. After that loss my walls were back up and I closed myself off from it. The only love I wanted was for my family.

"I know I've heard the name before. Isn't Killian a pirate? As in Captain Hook, the villain from the story Peter Pan?" I ask.

"He is a pirate and he was a villain but he's changed. And I think you can take credit for that. Love changes us." David states, nodding towards my mother.

Suddenly as if on cue, someone knocks on the door and all three of us pause, staring in the direction of the noise. David walks over, unlocking the door and opening it. Standing in the doorway was exactly who I wanted to avoid. The man I supposedly have forgotten.

He holds up a tray of four cups of what looks like coffee. "Did I come at a bad time?" He asks. Clearly feeling the tension in the room.

We all reply at the same time. Mary Margret and David say "No!" and I say "Yes!"

He laughs in response and hands the tray to David then taking one of the cups off for himself. "I can come back later." He says as he turns to leave.

David grabs his arm, "No this is as good a time as any. You were just the topic of discussion." pulling him inside. "We just told Emma that you both love each other and that your love brought her back."

Really dad? I think to myself. As if I didn't feel enough pressure. I can't even remember this man, let alone any feelings I may have had for him. I look down for a moment then back up at him. He looks nervous much like how I'm feeling now.

Mary Margret rushes over to the table, taking two of the cups off the tray and slipping on her shoes. "David we have that thing! We really should be going." She nods towards the door.

Like a light turns on in my dad's head he rushes to grab his keys and jacket. "Right, that thing! We will leave you two to catch up! See you later!" And just like that, they slam the door shut behind them leaving me alone with him.

We both stand by the table awkwardly for several minutes. He is the first to break the silence, grabbing the other cup from the tray and handing it to me. I look up at him, about to tell him I'm not a big coffee fan when he seems to read my mind, "It's hot cocoa with a dash of cinnamon."

Wow! I wasn't expecting that. He knows so much about me, but I don't know anything about him. I nod accepting it. Our hands touch briefly when he hands me the cup. I can't help but feel the warmth that burned right down into my soul giving me the urge to put as much distance between us as possible. I step back a couple feet.

"Thank you." I give him a reluctant smile.

He nods with a small smile.

Back to awkward silence. We stand there for what feel like hours but it's only a few minutes.

He sighs suddenly, which causes me to look at him again. His expression is pained as he looks up at the ceiling and then down at me.

"Look, Emma." He walks closer to me, putting his good hand on my shoulder, "I know that the magic that brought you back erased our relationship out of your brain but please tell me it's coming back or at least part of it?" He asks.

My gut starts to turn and I start to feel sick. I feel so horrible that I can't remember him. At a loss for words I reply, "I'm not sure what to say."

He smiles at me, taking one of my hands in his still holding my gaze. "Easy! So easy! Just say you missed me as much as I missed you!"

I stare back into his eyes and I know he's telling me the truth. I see the love in his eyes that he clearly has for me. Still holding his gaze I reply with sadness in my tone. "I don't remember anything about you. I thought if I saw you again it may change how I feel but it hasn't."

He nods looking down at our hands, still held tightly. "Maybe you just need a little more time." He rubs the top of my hand with his thumb.

I sigh at the touch and lift my other hand to my hair, pulling it back behind my ear. "Killian, I know that I loved you" I saw the proof upstairs and my parents confirmed it. I know it's true.

He replies, "Aye, that you did." I can see the hopefulness in his eyes as I acknowledge that.

I continue. "I'm sorry but those feelings are gone."

He lets go of my hand and scratches behind his ear before he looks back at me, noticeably upset. "I know you think that but those feelings are still there. The magic is just covering up the truth and no matter what you say, it's not going to make it any less of a lie."

I step back feeling the intensity of his words. He responds by moving even closer so we are only a few inches apart. He reaches down for my hand again and places it over his heart. "Do you feel that? It only beats that way when I'm with you!" I look down at my hand. I can feel his heart beating under his cotton shirt.

He holds our hands there and brings his hook up to my chin, pulling it up making our lips only a couple inches apart.

"Emma, l love you." He says my name under his breath and whispers those three words as he leans in and closes the distance between us with a kiss.

It was the most passionate kiss I had ever felt. I lean into it, the feeling reaching inside, making me want more. I start to deepen the kiss as I put my other hand on his cheek. I feel him let go of my other hand and reach around me into an embrace.

He kisses me like I'm the most precious thing in this world. I've never felt anything like it. I suddenly feel him pull back slightly, our lips parting as he holds me back and looks at my face.

I don't know what he sees but he takes his good hand away from my back and places it over my heart. He smirks at me clearly feeling what I already know. My heart is beating a million miles a minute. I see his eyes lighten as the smirk turns into a smile. "If you don't feel that." He looks down to his hand over my heart, "Then you're lying to yourself."

I breathe out a breath not realizing I was holding it in. I can feel my heart pounding and how my body is reacting to his touch but I don't understand it. "How can I love someone I don't even remember?" I ask him.

He moves his hand from my chest and cups my cheek, "You figured it out once. You'll do it again." And with that he pulls away. I can instantly feel the loss of warmth as he walks back towards the door. "I'll see you around, Emma." He turns the knob and walks out leaving me in complete shock.

I've never had this feeling. I've been with lots of men in my life but that kiss lit a fire in my heart. I want to remember him but how?


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's note: School is starting tomorrow, January 2nd so I will be taking a little break but don't worry! I'll update whenever I can!_

**Chapter 15:**

**Killian POV:**

I walk up the stairs to David and Mary Margaret's apartment holding a tray of hot beverages for everyone. I pause in front of the door and can over hear a heated discussion but I cannot make out what they are saying.

I knock on the door and they stop talking. After a few seconds the door opens and David is standing in front of me. I hold up the tray of drinks, "Did I come at a bad time?" I ask, as I feel the tension in the room.

All three of them reply, Mary Margaret and David saying "No!" And Emma says "Yes!" At the exact same time. Of course it's a bad time. Why am I not surprised that she doesn't want me here?

I laugh, handing David the tray and grabbing my own cup. "I can come back later." I say and I turn to leave. I can tell Emma is uncomfortable. I was hoping things would be better today but clearly her memory isn't improving.

I feel a hand grab my shoulder holding me in place. I turn towards David, "No this is as good a time as any." He says as he walks me back into the apartment just a few feet from Emma. "We just told Emma that you both love each other and that your love brought her back." He continues.

Oh great, that explains why she looks so confused and upset. I wish more than anything that she would remember the love we shared for each other but she doesn't. I can see it in her eyes. I'm nothing but a stranger to her. I look down trying to avoid her gaze. Every time I see her I just want to hold her close and kiss her but I know that she wouldn't want that.

Mary Margaret rushes over to the table where David left the tray and she picks up the two cups that I got for her and David. She looks over at him, "David we have that thing!" She says as she slips her feet into the shoes by the door. "We really should be going." She nods at the door.

David looks confused but she moves her lips without saying a word. She mouthed 'let them catch up'. His eyes widen "Right, that thing!" He reaches for his keys and jacket. "We will leave you two to catch up! See you later!" As he opens the door and waves good-bye. They both slip out and shut the door behind them without either of us getting a chance to respond.

I raise my eyebrows still looking at the closed door. Not sure how this is going to make things better. I look over at Emma. She's looking behind me at the door with a frown, clearly not thrilled that her parents dropped the love bomb on her then left her alone with the person she doesn't remember loving.

We both stand by the table awkwardly for several minutes.

I look around the room trying to think of something to say. I suddenly realized she didn't grab the hot cocoa I brought for her. I reach over and grab the cup from the tray and go to hand it to her. She looks at the cup then back up at me, with a confused look. She must think this is coffee. She goes to say something but I say, "It's hot cocoa with a dash of cinnamon." before she can refuse it.

I see the surprise in her eyes and it makes me smile. She gives me a nod and she goes to grab the cup from my hand. I feel the warmth from her touch making me want to hold her hand there but I let go of the cup as soon as she has a firm grasp on it. She steps back looking a little surprised but also hurt as if our hands touching burned her.

"Thank you." She says with a small smile.

I nod in reply not trusting my voice right now.

We stand there for several minutes sipping at our drinks. She's not saying a word. I try not to stare but being here with her is still a bit of a surprise to me. It was only just yesterday that she came back from the dead. I've dreamed about us reuniting for months but I never dreamed that she wouldn't remember me. We must be cursed, fated to always be apart. I let out a deep sigh at that thought.

She looks at me when I break the silence suddenly. I meet her gaze immediately noticing she looks sad. I need to say something to her but where should I start. I look up at the ceiling looking for nothing in particular. Looking back at her now, I walk closer to her, "Look, Emma." I say as I place my hand on her shoulder, holding her gaze, "I know that the magic that brought you back erased our relationship out of your brain but please tell me it's coming back or at least part of it?" I ask, hoping she says yes but knowing that it is never that simple.

She frowns and looks down. I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on her but I've been waiting for months to find her.

She finally replies, "I'm not sure what to say." Now looking up at me with a frown.

I try to smile at her, moving my hand from her shoulder and taking one of her hands in mine. I take a moment trying to think of what to say. Maybe we can just pretend that she remembers. I let the words slip out not even thinking, "Easy! So easy! Just say you missed me as much as I missed you!"

I did miss her more than anything. I love her so much and cannot imagine a life with out her in it. Still holding her gaze I wait for her reply, hoping she says she miss me too.

"I don't remember anything about you." She replies with sadness in her voice. "I thought if I saw you again it may change how I feel but it hasn't"

I knew it would be too much to hope that she would slip back into my life when she doesn't remember me. I nod choking back the tears that I can feel in my eyes looking down to try and hide it from her. I don't want to make her feel any worse about it. I look at her hand and start to rub the tops of her knuckles with my thumb. "Maybe you just need a little more time."

She sighs as she reaches to pull a strand of hair behind her ear. Something she always did when she was nervous. She continues, "Killian, I know that I loved you"

What? Does she remember something? I start to hope again and reply to confirm she's on the right track, "Aye, that you did."

Emma frowns at me and says," I'm sorry but those feelings are gone."

Those words burned me. I drop her hand. I'm not sure I can bear to hear anything more. I scratch behind my ear and look back at her trying to smile but knowing full well the emotional pain is clear on my face. I can see the pity in her eyes and I don't want it.

I am trying not to get upset but the words come out a little harsher than I intended. "I know you think that but those feelings are still there. The magic is just covering up the truth and no matter what you say, it's not going to make it any less of a lie."

She steps back. I instantly regret losing my patience with her. I want to fix this so badly but I can already see her distancing herself more than ever and not just physically. When she backs away I move closer to her so we are only a couple inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face as she looks up at me. I reach down to grab her hand again and I place it over my heart.

"Do you feel that?" I ask, hoping she can feel the effect she has on me. "It only beats that way when I'm with you!"

She looks down at her hand as I hold it there. I can't tell if she can feel it but I know its beating so fast right now. I'm laying all my cards on the table to try and win her back. Maybe true loves kiss would bring back her memories?

With my hand still holding hers on my heart I lift my hook up to her chin and gently pull her face up so our lips are inches apart. I look into her green eyes. I see the woman I love, the woman that loves me. She's still in there.

"Emma, l love you." I whisper. I lean in and close the distance between us with a kiss.

I try to be gentle when I kiss her but I wasn't prepared for her reaction. She instantly leans into me, deepening the kiss. I feel her hand as it reaches up to hold my cheek. I let go of her other hand and embrace her, pulling her closer to me. Did it work?

I pull back slightly, forcing our lips to part. I hold her back and look at her. She looks as surprised as I am with her reaction to the kiss. I move my hand and place it over her heart. Its beating just as fast as my own. Clearly I have the same effect on her still as she does me.

I can't help but smile at that. "If you don't feel that." Looking down at my hand so she knows what I'm talking about, "Then you're lying to yourself."

She lets out a deep breath "How can I love someone I don't even remember?" She asks.

I think about it for a moment. I don't expect her to love me right away but I know if she gives us a chance she will. I put my hand on her cheek. "You figured it out once. You'll do it again."

I step back. I don't want to scare her away by overwhelming her. I walk to the door and open it to leave. "I'll see you around, Emma." I wave and close the door shut. I lean against it for a moment still being able to hear her breathing on the other side of the door.

I know she is affected by me now. I felt it and I am certain she felt it too. I hope she fall back in love with me again.

My thoughts get interrupted by my cellphone vibrating. Looking at the caller ID seeing its Bell. I start to walk down the stairs and answer it. "Sheriff Jones!"

In the phone Bell is screaming, "Killian, there is a monster..." Suddenly I hear a crack, screams and then the phone call disconnects.

I dash outside and get into my car. I try to call her back but it goes right to voicemail. "Shit!" I exclaim out loud. I turn the key and pull out heading towards Gold's shop first to see if she may be there.

I call David to see if he heard anything. He doesn't answer either.

Suddenly I see a beast fly over my car. I make a u-turn and start to follow it. I have never seen anything quite like it. People are running for cover but it isn't going for anyone. It starts to slow down and lands on top of the apartment building I just left. Emma is in there.

I park the car in the street and pull out my gun. The skin is black, has horns at the top of its head. Its humanoid with bat like wings and large claws and its twice my size. I shoot it managing to graze its wing. It screams in a blood curdling roar.

I can see Emma running out of the building in fear. She runs to my car ducking for cover near the rear next to me. "What the hell is that thing?" She asks.

"I have no bloody clue but it can't be good." I state.

Suddenly it screams and jumps from the top of the building landing on the car, crushing the roof. It roars right into mine and Emma's face. I shoot it right in the face causing it to grab it's face in pain. I grab Emma's hand and run away.

I look back as we are running and see it is running after us. I shot it twice and one was right in the face. How is it still standing?

Emma trips over her feet and we stop. I try to rush her up but the beast catches up to us and tosses me against a building wall causing me to drop my gun in the street. "Ahh!" I wreath in pain on the ground. I look over at the beast hovering over Emma. "Run Swan!" I yell.

She is still lying on the street looking up at the beast. It goes to reach for her when suddenly a flaming sword pierces the beast in the heart and it explodes into dust. The sword drops to the ground in front of Emma and the flame goes out.

I look over to see where the sword came from. I see a tall man, light skin and short dark hair, wearing armor with a coat of arms I've never seen before.

I get up and walk over to Emma offering my hand. She is breathing heavy as she stands next to me now. We both look over at the man that rescued her. "Are you both alright?" He asks.

Emma seems to have lost her voice but she otherwise looks unharmed thankfully. "Aye, I think so. Do you know what that thing was?" I ask him.

He walks over to us and picks up the sword. "I'm afraid so. That was a demon." He states with dread in his tone. "And that won't be the last one we face."

Emma finally speaks, "I recognize that coat of arms on your armor. You're one of the knights from the round table aren't you?" She asks.

He smiles at her and bows, "Indeed I was but I am afraid I'm a bit far from Camelot." He looks around at the buildings and streets. He holds out his hand to Emma, "Sir Samael." She grabs his arm and he does the same as they shake.

"Emma Swan" She says, "Funny, I was just there not long ago and I don't recall seeing you."

I see a smirk cross his face, "I have been on a quest for king Arthur. I'm looking for a fugitive and it would seem that they are in this realm." He takes step back. "Well now that the lady is safe, I will take my leave and continue onward." He bows again, "May we meet again." Taking Emma's hand and kissing it. With that he turns around an heads towards the woods.

I look over at Emma, "Are you okay, love?"

She looks over at me, "I'm fine. He's lying though." She states as she nods towards Samael.

Emma has rarely been wrong. I look over at her. She's staring towards the woods where this knight went, who is now out of sight. I can't help but worry that the demon was after Emma.

This doesn't bode well for Storybrooke.


	16. Chapter 16

Emma POV:

It's Christmas Eve. My parents decided that our little apartment is too small for our ever growing family and planned to spend the holiday at Killian's place. So here I am, packing an overnight bag.

It's been a few days since that demon appeared out of nowhere and attacked our little town. Things have been oddly quiet ever since.

I haven't seen Killian since that day when he told me he loved me. While my parents may have explained that I loved him too and I have just forgotten, it doesn't make me feel any less awkward around him.  
I do admit that I felt something when he kissed me but I don't know if it was love.

"Are you all packed?" David yells up the steps.

I yell over the railing, "Almost!"

I grab some PJs and toss them in my bag and zip it up. Running down the stairs I toss the bag on the table and go straight to the fridge to drink some orange juice from the jug, not wanting to dirty a glass.

Mary Margaret comes out of the bathroom at that very moment and braids me, "Emma! We drink from cups in this house!"

I wipe my face with my sleeve, "Sorry." I shrug putting it back in the fridge.

"I think we have everything! Do you have the baby wipes?" David asks Mary Margaret.

"Yes! I think we have more than enough for one night." She states.

She's not wrong. By the doorway she has a giant suit case on wheels, and two duffel bags packed full. Makes me feel like I didn't pack enough.

"Well it's a good thing he doesn't live very far away. If you forgot something you can come back." I laugh.

They both smile at me. "Let's go! Henry, Regina and Robin are probably already there and wondering where we are." David says.

I grab my duffel bag and we all rush out the door. We toss everything in the truck bed and pile into the truck. "You seriously need to get an SUV." As we try to cram myself, my parents and my little brother into the truck that is really meant to be a two seater.

Mary Margaret looks annoyed, "If your father would stop being so stubborn and sell this truck we could afford to get a nice car but..." She glares at him.

"Hey! I love this truck! What we really need to do, is get your car fixed." He nods at me.

After driving it into a lake I have a hard time believing that the old bug will ever be road worthy again. I haven't even seen it since I got home.

The truck pulls into a driveway. The house is huge! It has a white picket fence with a detached garage. I get out of the truck and stand there staring at the house in shock. He lives here? Alone?

"You coming?" David asks as he walks up the steps to the front door.

"Yeah." I say and I follow them.

David opens the door without knocking. "Hi!" He yells to no one in particular.

Killian walks over from the left which appears to be the kitchen. He takes a couple bags from David. "Make yourselves at home." As he gestures around, "Lets take those bags up stairs, David." As he looks up the steps in front of us. Together they drag everything upstairs except for my bag that I'm still holding.

The house is really nice inside. Really high ceilings, stainless steel appliances and hard wood floors throughout, and even granite counters in the kitchen.

I walk into the kitchen spotting a door going outside.

There is a huge secluded terrace outside the kitchen and dinning room.

"Its nice isn't it?" I jump and turn around seeing Killian standing there. "I'm sorry Swan, I didn't mean to startle you." Killian apologizes when he notices my surprise.

"Its okay." I give him a small smile. "Your home is beautiful. Do you live here alone?" I ask instantly regretting my question.

He smiles, "Aye, it is just me here." now looking outside through the doors to the terrace, still smiling when he continues, "But I'm sure one day I'll find someone to share it with." He looks back at me and raises his left eye brow with the biggest smirk on his face.

I can feel my heart pounding as his bright blue eyes stare back at mine. My walls are crumbling down every time I'm around him. I look towards the living room where my parents are, trying to avert my gaze from his.

"So where am I sleeping?" I ask as I look back at him.

He raises his eye brow again, "With me of course." He winks at me.

I let out a nervous laugh, "Ha ha very funny, Jones."

"Come with me and I will show you." He smiles and walks towards the stairs.

I follow him up stairs. At the top of the stairs there are four doors. He points to the different rooms, "This is my room." I glace in and see a big bed, a night stand and a chest at the foot of the bed. Its such a big room but its really empty. He continues around the corner, "This is where your parents are sleeping." The room is small but it has a double bed with a night stand and a small crib, I assume for my little brother, Neil. "This is the bathroom." Right next to the room my parents are sleeping in. Its a normal bathroom but it has a large Jacuzzi tub. "And this is where you'll be sleeping" I look over as he opens the closed door at the end of the hall. There are stairs beyond the door. He gestures for me to go first.

I walk up the stairs to the third floor. The walls and ceiling are made of hard wood. There is a double bed and a night stand with a small chest at the foot of the bed. A large bay window on the other end with a window seat. Even some string lights hung around the room that give it a really cozy feeling.

He smiles at me and points to the chest, "I put some extra blankets in the chest encase you get cold."

"Thanks." I look at him and then sit my bag on the bed.

"I'm going to let you unpack. I'll see you downstairs?" He asks.

I nod. He walks down the steps closing the door behind him.

I move to the window and sit down. You can see the ocean from here. I don't remember this place and I still don't remember Killian. I guess I never will.

A small tear falls down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away.

Suddenly I hear Christmas music blaring. I get up and walk downstairs quickly. When I reach the living room I see my parents sitting on the love seat watching Henry as he is bent over a karaoke machine.

"What are you up to?" I ask him.

"Trying to get this set up so we can use it." He smiles "I think it will be a lot of fun. Did you want to try?"

"No way! I can't carry a tune if my life depended on it." I laugh.

"That doesn't matter, mom. It's still fun to try." He smiles.

Regina and Robin come into the room now, "We will volunteer and do a duet." Regina states and smiles at Robin.

"That sounds lovely." Robin laughs.

Henry hands them the microphone and shows them how to pick a song. I move to sit on the couch across from my parents.

The living room doesn't have a TV. In addition to the couch and love seat, there is a couple chairs. There is a Christmas tree in the corner of the room. A small fire place that is currently in use.

I watch Robin and Regina as they hold the microphone together and start singing White Christmas. They really are a great couple. It took a long time for Regina to find happiness again. "May your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmases be white." The song comes to an end and everyone claps. They both bow and laugh.

"Me next!" Mary Margaret reaches for the mic from Regina. "Come on, David!" She motions for him to come up with her.

"Do I have to?" He sighs.

She rolls his eyes at him and nods. He gets up from the couch and they both look at the song list on the machine.

"Are you having a good time?" Regina asks.

I look at her and nod. "I think this is what I needed. It was a good idea to all get together. I gotta admit, was a little worried." I say as I glace over at Killian who is talking to Henry in the kitchen. "I didn't think I would be able fall back into my old life so easily but I was wrong." I smile back at her.

She returns my smile with her own. "I can't begin to understand what you went through back in Camelot but I'm really glad you're here now."

Suddenly I hear Mary Margaret start a new song and as soon as I hear it, I start to laugh. I should have known they would pick this song.

Mary Margaret starts "I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you!" She sings as she stares at David.

I think all I want for Christmas is this. To be with my family. I went so many years of my life, having no one. Now that I have it, I don't want to lose it.

The song ends and they kiss.

"Okay!" David yells, "Get over here, Killian!"

My mom walks over to me and drags me up from the couch. "Now you both should sing a song together." Mary Margaret says.

I shake my head. "No way!"

Killian walks into the room and walks up to the machine. "Come on Swan. We can pick a short one." He smiles over at me, "They will never stop until you do this. Trust me."

I know he's right. I sigh, "Fine. But only one!" I point at my mom with my one finger.

She sits back down on the love seat with David. I walk up to the machine next to Killian. "Okay let's get this over with."

He scrolls through the list and points to Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas. The lyrics are there and it does look short. I nod in agreement.

Since there is only one microphone we have to stand close together. The tune starts to play and with each of our hands on the mic I start to sing.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas." Mary Margaret starts to whistle as the words fall. "Let your heart be light. From now on your troubles will be out of sight." I pause and look up at Killian wondering if he's going to start singing.

Killian smiles down at me and then looks back at the screen reading the words. "Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the Yuletide gay. From now on your troubles will be miles away." He sounds amazing.

The next verse starts and together we sing it. "Here we are as in olden days. Happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more."

I continue on my own smiling at him, "Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow."

Killian sings "Hang a shining star upon the highest place."

And together again, "So have yourself a merry little Christmas now." And the tune stops and everyone starts to clap.

Without even realizing it until now, during the song, Killian must have put his arm around me. Now that the music has stopped I'm fully aware of his hook resting at my side.

His lips are so close to mine as we lower the mic down. I step back slightly and end up tripping over my feet as I rush to distance myself from him.

"Are you alright there, Swan?" Killian asks as he drops the mic on the floor and grabs my hand trying to keep me from falling but causing me to fall into him instead.

I look up at him as he holds me steady against him. I can see concern but also hope in his eyes. I can feel all eyes on me. I know my cheeks are turning red and I hate it. Putting my hand on his chest I push him away from me. "I'm fine I just need to lay down." I say as I look away from him trying to warn him not to push it further.

He lets me go and I rush up stairs hoping no one will follow. Once I get back to my room I cash onto the bed.

I pause, placing my fingers over my lips. I didn't kiss him but I wanted to. More then anything, I just want to give into love. I can feel the tears falling freely now.

My walls are slowly coming down. I thought it would be a good thing but if my walls are down what's to stop the bad stuff from getting in?

I look out the window overlooking the ocean and I feel calmer some how. Maybe a walk will help. I grab my jacket and rush down the stairs.

My mom stops me as I put my shoes on. "Where are you going?" She asks.

"I just need a little air to think." I smile at her. "Just to the beach and back."

"Don't go alone. Take Killian with you." She says.

"Mom!" I sigh. "I know that you want us to be together but you can't force it on me."

"Emma I see the way you look at him." She states. "And I know he loves you, just give him a chance."

I know she does and I should just give in to whatever my heart is telling me but I'm scared. "I just want to be alone right now. I'll be back. I promise." With a reassuring smile and a quick hug I leave, heading towards the ocean.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17  
Emma POV:

It's a five minute walk to the beach. I get there and lean on a rock and watch the waves. This was the beach where I was found. I wonder how I ended up here after I was in Camelot? Was Merlin able to find peace knowing the dark one is a thing of the past? All questions I will never know the answers to.  
I close my eyes and let the calming sound of the waves put me to sleep.

-

"Emma!"

I hear a familiar voice but it can't be.I open my eyes. I'm sitting in my little yellow bug and I see someone sitting in the passenger seat who I haven't seen in years. "Neil!" I exclaim.

"Yeah! It's really great to see you." He says with a smile.

"Where are we? Am I dreaming?" I ask.

"Nawh. If you were dreaming there would be talking doughnuts or something like that." He says with a laugh. "Think of this as a long distance call from an old friend."

"It's really you!" I smile as tears start to pool up in my eyes.

"Hows our son?" He asks, with genuine concern.

"Great!" I look down then back up at him, "He misses his dad." I say with a frown. "He's growing up."

"I bet!" He laughs.

"Is this the underworld?" I ask.

"No, but that is why I'm here. Once you get there its not an easy place to get out of. You escaped Emma. You may not remember that place but you were there before Hook brought you back from the dead." He sighs

"I would have brought you back too if I had known it was possible." I say as the tears start to fall.

He grabs my hand. "I'm happy where I am now. I only came here because I care about you Emma. You're in danger. The devil is in Storybrooke. Leave it to you to bring hell on earth." As he laughs darkly.

"The demon the other day. He must have sent that. Who is he?" I ask.

Neil shakes his head, "I don't know who he is but be careful Emma." He gives me a kiss on the forehead. "I love you Emma. I always have and I always will." He gets out of the car.

"Wait! How do we defeat him?" I ask but get no reply before Everything fades away.

-

I hear the sound of the waves as I start to wake. I try to open my eyes, struggling to adjust to the brightness of the day. I must have dozed off. The tide is coming in now and it's started to snow. I shiver, now feeling the cold.

"Well, hello there!" I hear a mans voice.

I look around and spot the guy that the voice came from. It's Samael, the guy that saved me the other day. He's wearing a jacket and some jeans now. Looks like he's assimilating quite quickly.

"Hi." I reply. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question." He retorts.

"I just needed some time alone with my thoughts. I haven't been alone since I got back from Camelot. If you met my family, you'd understand. They can be a bit overbearing." I reply.

"Ah! Yes, family can be a messy thing. I don't speak to anyone in my family anymore. My father in particular, vilified me. In many ways he made me become who I am today." He gives me a sympathetic smile. "But that's not all that is bothering you. Why so glum?" He asks as he leans against the rock next to me.

"I have forgotten someone. I feel terrible that I can't remember them. You met him the other day. Killian, the sheriff." I spill my feelings, as if I can't control my words. Why am I being so honest with this perfect stranger?

He looks at me and his brows furrowed, "Memory loss?" He asks.

I sigh and put my face in my hands. "I just wish I knew what to do."

He smiles at me, "Perhaps you should ask Killian? Maybe if you relive some of the moments you shared it would come back to you."

I smile at him. "Yeah. Maybe." I start to shiver more. The snow has started to accumulate on the ground now and it's getting windy.

"I think we both better head back to our hovels? Wouldn't you agree, Emma?" Samael suggests, smiling.

I nod without further argument. I turn to leave but he grabs my hand. I turn back to face him. He smiles at me, as he pulls my hand up to his lips and he kisses my knuckles.

Still smiling and holding my gaze, "Enjoy your time with your family while you can. You never know what will happen tomorrow. Best thing to do, is live every day like it will be your last."

With that he drops my hand. I nod and turn, slowly starting to walk away. I can still feel his eyes on me as I walk. Neil's words start to play back in my head. Is Samael a biblical name? I can't remember.

I start to run as fear starts to take over. I look back behind me but I don't see him. Not fully paying attention as I run forward, I run into someone.

"Ouch!" I hold my nose and look at who I connected with. Killian is standing in front of me, looking completely unaffected by the impact.

"Whoa Swan! What are you running away from?" He asks as he looks behind me.

"I don't know." I admit, not exactly sure if he's talking about the actual running or the back peddling I've been doing since I found out he loved me.

He sighs looking down at the ground. He looks back at me and puts his hand on my chin rubbing his thumb at the edge. His eyes look like they are searching for something. Perhaps permission to kiss me?

"You can't kiss me again." I say in an attempt to convince myself against the idea.

"I know." He says, still holding my chin.

"It's not right." I say as I lean away slightly from his hand.

He lowers it and nods "It's right. Just not right now." He says, with a frown. He turns and starts to walk up the steps to the house.

I instantly regret what I said. It's not that I don't want to kiss him. I can feel the connection between us but I don't fully understand it.

"Killian, wait!" I yell.

He stops midway up the steps without turning around.

"This thing we have, it's never been easy, has it?" I ask.

He turns to face me, "True love never is, Swan."

"You really think that's what we had?" I ask, still in disbelief.

He walks back down the steps and stands just a few inches from me, so close that I can smell his aftershave. "Aye, we did." I can see it in his eyes. He truly believes that.

"I want to remember!" I state more determined than ever.

He smiles, "Well we kissed already and that didn't work, so true loves kiss is out." He laughs. "Not sure how else we can reverse the effects of a spell."

"Maybe if you tell me how we met?" I gesture between us, "Maybe it will jog my memory."

He raises an eyebrow, "Tell you what, Swan. You agree to go out on a date with me, and I'll tell you anything you'd like to know about us."

Gazing at his intensely blue eyes, I pause. A date? I put my hands up to my face to hide the rosy cheeks and the small smile growing. I would chalk up the rosy cheeks to the cold but the smile is another matter. "When?" I ask

He smiles, as if knowing he's gotten the answer he wanted from that request. "How about New years Eve?" He asks.

"Okay." I say as I look away.

I can feel the smile even though I can't see it on his face.

"So are you going to tell me something about how we met?" I ask waiting for a reply.

"Patience, love. It will give us something to talk about during our date. It's getting pretty cold out now. We should go back inside." He suggests.

I nod still not turning to look at him. I look down at the snow that has started to accumulate on the ground. I reach down and grab some of the snow, feeling it between my fingers.

Against my better judgement I form it into a ball and turn to face him. His back is turned and he is looking towards the ocean. I toss it and it connects, hitting him in the back of his head.

I put my hands up to my mouth trying to suppress my laugh.

He turns around with the biggest scowl on his face "You threw snow at me!" He accused.

"I did no such thing!" I lie with laughter clearly in my tone despite my best efforts to retain it.

The biggest mischievous grin spreads across his face as he reaches down to get his own snow. I start towards the stairs when I hear the door open.

I see Killian whip the snowball towards me and I duck.

"What are you two..." He doesn't even get to finish his sentence before Killian's snowball hits my dad right in his face.

I see the shock spread across Killian's face. "Sorry mate, I was aiming for your daughter."

I laugh so hard I have to hold my stomach. Both my dad and Killian stare at me. They both start to laugh with me after a brief pause.

David is the first to speak as we all try to catch our breath from all the laughing. "It would appear I came at a bad time"

"That's unfortunate," I reply as I bent down to grab some more snow, shaping it into a ball and tossing it at him.

"Very well, if that is how it is," He said, brushing the snow off his coat. Though his face was pale, his cheeks were burning red. He reaches down to gather snow. Killian does the same.

I let out a squealed as I start to run away from their attack, the rest of the afternoon falling away to laughter and fun that I had not had in a long time. Her dream of Neil and his warning completely forgotten.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18  
Emma POV:

Christmas came and went. The week went by so quickly and now it's new years eve. I'm sitting on my bed looking at myself in the mirror. I agreed to go on a date with Killian today. He is supposed to pick me up in a couple hours. I've been contemplating calling him to cancel all day but I haven't gathered up the courage.

Henry stopped by to spend the day with me. I'd much rather stay here with him.

"Mom, shouldn't you be getting ready for your big date tonight?" He asks.

I smile at him, "I'm not sure I'm still going to go. I'd much rather spend this night with you." I admit

Henry looks up at me, then he gets up and runs down the steps. He comes up seconds later, handing me a piece of newspaper. It has the exact house Killian lives in circled on it. An advertisement dating back to a week before I became the darkone.

"What's this?" I ask him

"A project hook and I were working on before you left. We called it operation White swan! He was looking for a house you might like. He bought this house so we would have a future here, together, as a family." He says with a small smile.

I look at the house. That's a lot to take in. If Henry's goal was to encourage me to still go, it had the opposite effect. I couldn't be more afraid than I am now.

"He hadn't had a chance to tell you before you left." He says with a sigh. "There was so much happening that week, that we both thought it would be best to wait until you were feeling better."

I know I'm frowning. I remember having visions and being in the hospital because of that. No one knew about the cause of my seizures because I didn't want anyone to worry. I know some of those visions were about Killian because I can't remember some of them anymore.

"Look, Henry, I know you want us to be together but I'm not really sure that is such a good idea. I don't remember him. He is a stranger to me. Besides, from what I've been told we broke up before I left. I'm sure I had a good reason." I sigh.

Henry's brows furrow, "Remember when we lived in New York?"

"Yeah." I say, noticing he ignored my mention of Killian and my break up.

"I could tell you were lonely. So I wished that our family would be complete. And you know what happened a few days later?" Henry asks.

I shake my head.

"Hook came to New York. He came to bring us home." He smiles.

I sigh knowing we've had this conversation many times before. "Yeah, our family is here but there are also villains, demons, and magic. I'm not the savior anymore or the darkone. When I died and came back, all my magic was gone. I won't be able to protect you anymore. I've been thinking it would be better if we leave."

He looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Your future is here, mom, with me, with grandma and grandpa, and Killian, even if you've forgotten that! Why do you always want to run away when things get tough?" He asks.

I take a deep breath, "I'm not running away. I'm not going to leave you.

I hear a knock on the door. I look at the clock and see it's 6:00 pm. "Crap! That must be Killian." I scramble around my room.

"I'll stall, mom." He smiles and runs down to answer the door. I hear it creak open. "Hook! You're early!" I over hear Henry say.

"I'm pretty sure I said 6:00. Is your mother here?" He asks.

I yell from the loft, "Sorry I lost track of time. I'll be down shortly!" I look for something nice to wear. I spot a dress, light blue floral patterns on it with spaghetti straps with a high to low cut. I don't recognize it as a dress I have ever owned. I put it on standing in front of the mirror. It looks nice and even though it's not the time of year for this type of dress I want to wear it.

I quickly brush my hair and put on some lipstick. I rush down the stairs in my bare feet. I see Killian sitting at the table, wearing jeans and a blue cotton dress shirt, leather jacket hanging on the back of the chair. He has a bouquet of red roses in his hand.

As soon as he sees me he gets up and hands the roses to me. I see the biggest smile spread across his face as he looks me over. "What?" I ask, wondering if there is something on my face.

"Nothing. You look stunning, Swan." He smiles.

I smile and take the flowers. I walk over to the kitchen and grab a vase and fill it with water.

"Thank you!" I say to him, meeting his gaze as I place the flowers in the vase. "You've been so secretive about tonight. I just want to be clear, I don't pillage and plunder on the first date."

He looks surprised by my answer, "Are you sure you don't remember me?!" He asks, "because you said the exact same thing, the day you asked me out on a date."

I raise an eyebrow, "I asked you?"

He laughs, "Trust me, I was just as surprised as you, but you did. Are you ready?" He asks.

I look over at Henry, who gives me a reassuring smile. I look back at Killian and nod. I walk over to the door and slip on my heels, grabbing a long coat and scarf. Killian puts on his jacket.

"Bye Henry!" I say

"Have fun you two!" He says as he holds the door open for us.

I can feel Killian put his hand on my back as we walk out of the apartment and down the stairs. Such a simple gesture but it still makes me feel warmer inside. I can feel my cheeks already turning red.

"So how many times did you tell yourself that you should cancel this date?" He asks as we left the building now standing by his car.

He can clearly read my mind or he knows me better than I thought. "More times than I can count." I admit.

He laughs, "Well I'm glad you didn't."

I smile back at him, feeling a little better. "So where are we going?" I ask as he opens the door to his car and gesturing for me to get in.

"To a restaurant." He replies as he closes my door. He gets into the car and starts it. Smiling at me, he pulls out onto the street.

"What?" I ask.

He looks forward, watching the road. "You're wearing the dress I got you." He says.

I look down at the dress, scrunching it up in my hands. I look forward without replying.

He continues, "The last time we went out together, we went to the mall. You hadn't been feeling great at the time but you needed it. You had been cooped up in the apartment for days. While we were there I got you that dress." He smiles at the memory. "Not without you putting up a fuss, of course." He laughs. "You always had a hard time accepting gifts from anyone."

He isn't wrong. "I didn't realize this dress was from you. I'm sure I already said this, but thank you." I give him a small smile. He looks over at me for a quick moment then back at the road.

"I believe your exact words were, 'You're impossibly stubborn' after I paid for it." He replies with a smirk.

I laugh, "Sounds like me."

We pull into a small lot. The restaurant is called Valentino's Pizzeria. He puts the car in park and gets out. I open my door and step out.

"Shall we?" He asks me as he reaches for my hand. I nod as I accept it. Feeling of his hand in mine starts to make my heart pound. He lets go of my hand and opens the door, holding it open for me. I instantly feel the loss of his touch but I hold my smile and walk in. It's a quaint little restaurant with checkered table cloths on each table and a candle lit in the center. He shows me to a table and pulls out a chair for me. I sit down. "What do you think?"

"I like it so far." I look around.

He sits across from me and leans in his chair. "Do you remember anything?" He asks.

"No. Should I?" I ask, confused.

He sighs, "I suppose not. This is where we went for our first date." He gives me a small smile.

I smile back at him and reach for his hand that is resting on the table. He pulls back slightly seeming surprised by the gesture but then brings it back and turns it over to hold mine. "I'm sorry I don't remember it. Please tell me how it went." I let go of his hand and return mine to my lap.

He smiles and nods, "I picked you up from your parents place, much like today but your parents were home at the time. I managed to convince the crocodile, I mean Rumpelstiltskin, to give me back my other hand." He holds up his hook, "So I could hold you with both hands."

"You really went all out for our first date!" I lean my elbows on the table and rest my chin on my hands. "Did I do anything special?" I ask hoping I made as much of an effort as he did.

"You wore a pretty pink dress." He laughed. "You were a bit stressed at the time because the snow queen was in town and we didn't know what she was up to."

"I remember that! She was hell bent on making me her sister." I shake my head. "Sorry, I'm getting off topic."

"Quite alright, love. Anyway, everything was going pretty well until Will Scarlet crashed into our table and spilled wine on you." He frowned at the memory.

"Well, it must not have been that bad because we went on a second date, I assume?" I ask.

He smiles at me and nods. The waiter interrupts us when he comes to our table and takes our order. I end up ordering spaghetti and Killian orders the fish and chips.

"I should have known you'd order fish." I laugh.

He laughs with me, "I'll always be a man of the sea." He stops laughing. "When we met all that mattered to me was getting my revenge."

"Against Rumpelstiltskin for killing Milah?" I ask, making sure I remembered that much. My parents and Henry told me a few basics that they knew about Killian's past.

"Aye! For hundreds of years I searched for a way to kill him. When you met me, it was hardly love at first sight. I was trying to trick you into helping Cora and I get to Storybrooke. You ended up defeating us but we found another way here."

"Wait, I remember that! I only remember fighting Cora though." I frown. "So you came to Storybrooke and you got your revenge?" I ask, knowing Rumpelstiltskin is very much alive and well.

"It wasn't for lack of trying but you hero types got in my way." He laughs, "In the end I set aside my differences with the crocodile. We will never be friends and I will never trust him, but we can coexist."

I nod, "It must have been hard for you. I hate to keep bombarding with questions but...?" I ask open ended if I can keep asking.

He nods, "You can ask me anything."

"When did you know that you loved me?" I ask, right to the point.

"We were in Neverland trying to find Henry. I had saved your father from dream shade. I asked you to give me a kiss as a thank you for saving him. You surprised me when you actually did it. It was the most passionate kiss I had ever felt and in that moment it made me realize that I loved you." He smiles at the memory. "At the time, your feelings weren't the same though. Like your mother, it took you far longer than I to admit how you felt."

I nod, knowing I am really bad for that. "I put up a wall to protect my heart from getting hurt."

"I liked your walls. I liked being the one to bring them down." He admits, reaching over the table to grab my hand. "Emma, it's not too late to start over. We can make new memories."

I look down at our hands. I just want normal, simple and easy. I don't want painful, difficult, devastating, life changing, extraordinary love. Looking into his eyes, I know in my heart that we shared all those things. Even without my memories. I take a deep breath, trying to keep my heart steady.

Suddenly the waiter comes with our food. I let go of Killian's hand. Perhaps a little too quickly. I can see the hurt cross his face for a moment but he quickly recovers and looks away from me at the waiter.

"Enjoy." And he makes his exit.

I start to dig in, without another word. We eat in silence for several minutes. I start to feel nauseous. Not from the food but from the stress of the situation. I want to remember and it's frustrating that I can't. I put my fork down and look over at Killian. "I'm going to the washroom."

He nods without looking up at me.

I stand up and walk to the back. Pushing the washroom door open. I look in the mirror at myself. I feel the tears start to fall. I'm scared. I don't know if it's love but I can feel something for him.

I hear the door open and I quickly wipe my tears so whoever it is doesn't see. I hear the door lock and I turn around but the light goes out before I can see who it is. The grab my arms and hold them behind my back. "Help!" I start to yell but they cover my mouth.

Suddenly I have a vision, a memory.

-

It's pouring down rain and I'm completely soaked. I see Killian running to me.

"Emma, what are you doing out here in the rain? You'll catch a cold." He grabs my arm. I pull my arm out of his grasp.

"It's over Killian." I say coldly. "We can't be together. This was never going to work between us." I move my hands between us to explain my words.

He turns to face me, water dripping down his face, "Why are you saying this now? I thought you had an amazing time, as I did, yesterday." He says in a whisper, now looking down at his feet.

"I did. It was the best date I've ever had." I say.

Now looking right at me again he asks "Then why? You even told me you loved me. Was that a lie? I thought we were going to build a future together" Killian starts to raise his voice.

"I thought I loved you, but we are just too different. You're a pirate and I'm a princess. I'm sorry, Killian. I really am. It's just not meant to be. We were fooling ourselves, thinking this would ever work. Our world's are just too different"

Killian pulls my chin up so I have to look directly at him. "I know you're lying to me, Swan. You know you can tell me anything. What's really wrong?" He asks.

"We can't have a future together. I thought that's what I wanted but the more I think about it the more I dread it." I say as he drops my chin.

I walk backwards a few steps and turn and start to walk away, tears starting to fall down my cheeks.

"Swan!" Killian says behind me. I turn to face him.

"Did you ever love me? Not Captain Hook the pirate, but just me, Killian Jones?" He asks.

"I never loved you. If I did, do you really think I would leave you like this?"

-  
I remembered something. We broke up but why?! I told him I didn't love him. Coming back to reality I panic.

I feel warm breath against my ear. "You're going to do everything I say." I hear a man's voice. I struggle against his hold but he's too strong. "You're going to tell Killian you don't love him. That you remember breaking things off with him all those months ago because now you do. My gift to you, savior." I feel the smile in his tone.

He moves his hand away from my mouth but continues to hold my arms in place.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" I ask the person.

"No! I'll kill him!" He threatens.

"Why are you doing this? Who are you?" I ask.

His grip loosens. I break free and I run to the door turning on the light. He's gone. No one is here. Did I imagine that?

I feel my wrists. No that was real. I unlock the door and walk back out to our table. Killian smiles at me but I see concern cloud his features.

"What's wrong Swan?" He asks.

"Can you take me home? I'm not feeling well." I ask.

"Of course." He tosses a $50 on the table. "Let's sail away." He stands up and walks over to me. Putting his hand on my back leading me out of the restaurant.

I get into the car and he hopes in on the other side. "Now that we are alone, tell me what's wrong."

"I already told you!" I sigh. "Please just drop it, Killian."

"We aren't going anywhere. Not until you tell me what's bothering you." He says, as he plays with the keys in his hand.

"I'm fine. Just tired and the food just isn't sitting right with me." I say.

"You are an open book. It's not the food. Please, Swan, don't put your walls back up again." He pleads with me. "Not with me."

I start to cry but he doesn't back down. He sits there waiting for me to reply.

"Killian, I don't know if I love you but I feel this connection that I can't explain. It scares me more than anything." I start to choke on my tears as I try to steady my voice. "Someone just attacked me in the washroom. They threatened to kill you."

His eyes go wide, "Who?" He asks.

"I didn't see him." I look down at my hands.

"You don't remember this, but I am a survivor. You don't need to worry about me. I will never leave you." He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. "Did he hurt you?" He asks as he looks me over.

I shake my head and look up at him. "I had a vision. A memory we shared."

He looks surprised, "What did you remember?"

"We were standing in the rain..." I start to say but he interrupts.

"Don't, Swan." He lets go of my hand and puts his hand on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly. He sighs and looks straight ahead. "I've dreamed about it over and over." He confides, "I've tried to forget that rainy night. It was the day you left and became the darkone."

"I remember all the hurtful things I said." I start to sob, reaching for his hand, I hold it on the steering wheel. "Killian, how could you forgive me after that?"

He looks at me and let's go of the wheel and takes my hand in his. "Why couldn't you have remembered a happy memory?" He laughs as he shakes his head. He smiles at me, "Deep down, I knew your words weren't truthful. When you love someone, you know."

It's started to rain as we sat in the car. Much like that night all those months ago when we broke up. I look into his bright blue eyes and close the distance between us with a kiss on his lips. I pull back and look down at his hand in mine.

"That man... He told me to end things with you or he will kill you." I admit, "What should we do?" I trust Killian but I want to be honest this time. "I don't want to lose you!"

"And I don't want to lose you!" He lets go of my hand and cups my cheek. "I see you're worried but don't be. We will find a way. We always do."

I nod, hoping he is right. I am finally starting to open up to him and it's scary but it's also an amazing feeling. With him, I can see myself being happy.

He starts the car. "Lets go to my place tonight. Call your folks and let them know."

"Wait! It's our first date. I'm not going to spend the night with you." I raise my voice, a bit surprised by his forwardness.

"Relax, Swan. I just don't want to let you out of my site again. I don't want you to do something drastic like last time. You can stay in the spare room." He says as he raises an eyebrow. "It will be the last place this man will expect you to go if he knows you at all."

I nod and start to dial the house number. I know O have a history of running away but I'm not running anymore. We will face this together!


End file.
